A Love Worth Saving
by PrimadonnaGurl13
Summary: After CLOCKWORK PRINCE: Will fights to redeem himself in Tessa's eyes. Can their love be saved?
1. Chapter 1

**If you haven't read Clockwork Prince yet, then beware: there's a major spoiler in this.**

**I DO NOT OWN THIS STORY - IT ALL BELONGS TO CASSANDRA CLARE. I AM MERELY CREATING MY OWN PLOT.**

**P.S. TEAM WILL! xD**

_**Summary: Jem and Tessa are wildly in love and setting up for their wedding. Now Will is getting ready to live a life without the one he truly loves. But can he really hide his feelings with her presence everywhere he looks?**_

Will stood at the top of the steps leading out of the London Institute, waving at the carriage that was taking Tessa and Jem into town. He didn't know what they were going for, and he didn't much care. His head pounded and his chest hurt with the realisation, once again, that it was not he who sat alone with Tessa in that carriage. That it was not he who was set to marry her; not he that she was madly in love with. But he could never show how much he was in love with her. If Jem, his Parabatai, ever truly found out how he felt, it would destroy him. Jem had been ecstatic when he'd told Will he was engaged; while inside Will was breaking.

Every time he gazed upon Tessa – her hair loose over her shoulders, her grey eyes cast like shadows and her lips as soft like velvet – he couldn't help the shatter that echoed through his body. He wanted so badly to forget his loyalties and hold her in an embrace so passionate that no man could claim it but him. He wanted to crush his lips to hers and lose himself in her taste; her scent; her being.

With a final glance at the retreating carriage, he shoved his hands in his trouser pockets and with a slow, aching wonder, walked back inside the building that he called his home.

On his way to his room he paused by the drawing room; recalling his last, true moments with Tessa and him finally declaring his love for her. It had been foolish of him, he knew now. How could someone as enchanting and loyal as her, fall for someone who had been so cruel, so heartless for so long? It was simply not possible. Certainly if it had been the other way around, he would in no way forgive himself.

He wrung his hands together and sat beside the small fire that burned in his tiny bedroom, currently looking chaotic. He rarely cleaned it; the debris gave a sense of accomplishment. A sense that he belonged there even though he felt he didn't. Well, right that moment he felt it. Deep in his bones, he felt it. How could he go on now that his one reason for surviving these past few months were because of Tessa._Oh,Tessa, _he thought solemnly.

With a sigh of reluctance, he sat on his bed which was covered with paper; mostly poems and lines taken from his favourite novels.

Someone rapped once at his door and he lifted his head briefly. "Come in," he called.

Charlotte entered, an expression of sympathy and for the oddest of moments, pity. He looked away, focusing on clearing his bed. He loved Charlotte like family – she'd put up with so much from him, more so than anyone else. But he couldn't shake the feeling she was here to give him advice he didn't want to hear.

"Will," she whispered, stepping towards him. When he did not answer she cleared her throat. "I feel I need to talk to you."

"If you do, then say it. I don't have time for riddles," he replied rather harshly. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her flinch. With a sigh he looked up at her and tried to smile; her face aglow in the fire light. She looked so vulnerable, small, that he couldn't help but feel sorry for sounding rude. "I'm sorry. Won't you sit down?" He made a small space on the bed and she carefully sat.

"Will, are you quite alright? You-"

At that, he felt his emotions close off. He blinked once, his back straightening. "I am perfectly fine, thank you." he said curtly.

"I was going to say," she said, smiling a little at his brash behaviour. "That you look like you haven't slept in days and I was curious to know if it had anything to do with our Tessa being engaged. I've seen the way you admire her from afar," Her lips pursed with secret knowledge. She knew him far too well and it hurt him to think he was making things worse for not just himself, but for the people he called family. He wished he wasn't so transparent. For a long time he had always considered himself hard as a shell when it came to hiding his feelings. Clearly that was not the case.

"Tessa? Why would I be bothered by her? She's happy, I'm happy. We're all happy." He heard his voice rise and Charlotte, ever the kind woman that she was, laid a soft hand on his to calm him. He swallowed back a rise of emotion he could not place.

"Please, William. You can fool Henry, you can fool Jem and you can even fool yourself, but you cannot fool me." Her eyes glittered, and he had to turn his head away; he was sure his thoughts were written on his face.

"Who said I was trying to fool anyone, Charlotte? I am not a pity case. I can deal with my own drama." He heard how sharp he was being, but he couldn't help it. It hurt to talk about his feelings.

She laughed, a tiny sound; he flinched at how content she was.

"You are too funny, William." There was a sense that she didn't quite believe his assurances. "Well," She stood and headed to the door. With a glance back at him she said, "If you ever change your mind, I am always here if you need to talk." With that she left the room, closing the door behind her.

**A/N. I've done a bit of editing on this so if you're reading this again, you may notice a few changes. :)**

**Would love reviews.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you all SO much for the lovely reviews for chapter one. I'm sorry you've had to wait so long for the next chapter, but anyway, here it is. I hope you like. I try to update as often as I can, but I'm also writing my own original story, so it's taking time to update everything. Again, thanks for the amazing support, and please review this if you get the chance :) xx**

Chapter Two

"Will? Will? Aren't you coming?" Jem called to him from his bedroom doorway. Will nodded gruffly and swung the door closed behind him before heading for breakfast. It was Thursday. An ordinary day of the week by comparison, but one in which Will was certainly not excited for what so ever.

Jem had a bounce in his step as they walked.

"It's so beautiful," he went on. "It's all set for three weeks from now, and I have never been so-"

Will coughed, interrupted his rambling. "Yes, yes. It's all very splendid," Will remarked in a very dubious manner. "But I wonder if we're having eggs for breakfast? I do love eggs." He kept his expression plain; trying to hide any form of annoyance from his best friend.

Jem raised an eyebrow, "Of course we're going to have eggs, Will. We always have eggs," He rolled his eyes and continued, "As I was saying, Charlotte's going to be the bridesmaid and I thought you could-"

Will purposely tripped and grabbed a door handle of the Drawing room. "Oh, dear." he said with false worry. "I guess I'm feeling a bit wobbly today,"

Jem clearly wasn't fooled, which annoyed Will more. "Are you alright?" asked Jem with a slight tug of worry etching his face. "You are acting awfully strange this morning."

Will smiled, just enough to calm Jem. "Yes, I'm fine. Now what were you saying?" By this time, they were at the dining room entrance so of course Jem didn't have time to tell him more details, which Will was more than thrilled about. It wasn't that he wasn't happy for his best friend, but that he wished he didn't spread the joy about so much. Will wasn't in the mood.

Tessa sat at the side of the table, next to Cecily, Will's sister and newly added Shadowhunter. He'd been ecstatic when she turned up at their home asking for a place to stay. It just couldn't have come at a more...unsettling time.

Will nodded politely to Tessa as he went to take a seat next to Henry – as far from Tessa as he could get. His wounds were still very raw.

"How are you feeling?" said Charlotte from the end of the table. She looked at Will sternly, but not in an unkindly way and tried to convey some sympathy across to him without, as Will had noticed, making it obvious. He smiled back and said, "Very well, thank you."

He noticed Tessa looking at him from the corner of his eye, but he continued to ignore her. It hurt every part of him to do so, but it was for the best. He'd managed it since the announcement, he could continue.

"I have an announcement to make," called out Jem from beside Tessa and stood up. Will refrained from rolling his eyes and bit his lip from a snide comment. Everyones eyes shot to Jem and anticipation was ripe in the air. His gaze went to Charlotte who was looking confused. "Charlotte," he said with a wide smile, then paused. He looked down to Tessa who still sat. "Darling, I think you should say it. It's only right coming from you,"

She sighed heavily but smiled none the less.

"You're right," she said a little breathlessly but confident. "Charlotte, would you be my maid of honour?"

Charlotte gasped rather dramatically, raised a hand to her chest and blushed a deep red.

"Oh my," she said with gratitude, "Of course, of course. But," she eyed Cecily for a brief second, "Wouldn't you rather have Cecily?"

Tessa laughed, a teasing look to Cecily in apology, "You have been there for me the longest, and I only wish to repay my gratitude for all this time I've caused you trouble."

"You have never caused us trouble, dear." replied Charlotte earnestly.

Will caught Tessa's eye again and he looked down as thought something on his plate was interesting him. "And Will?" asked Jem after a quiet moment. Will looked up, a little startled at his name being called and tried to smile.

"What about me?"

"Will you be my best man?" Jem asked with eagerness.

"Would love to," he said a little dryly, "But you know we don't have the mundane ceremonies. So I won't be needed,"

Jem's eyes widened, "No, but we're doing this for Tessa." Will noticed the slight hurt in his voice.

"Well, of course I will be there." With a glance around the room, he grinned and added, "Wouldn't miss it for the world."

"This is cause for a celebration." cheered Henry, raising his morning juice in the air. "To Jem and Tessa! May all be well for them in the future," With that, he looked around carefully and seemed to realise his mistake in words but smiled sheepishly none the less.

"Here, here!" cried Cecily.

Finishing his tea and toast, Will excused himself from the table so he could go into town.

"Oh, Will," called Tessa, "Can I have a word?" Will narrowed his eyes at her then forced a smile as she too stood from the table and walked out of the dining room with him. His wished she wouldn't. He didn't think he could contain patience for a conversation with her now.

"What is it, Tessa?" he said a little harshly for the time of day and seeing the saddened expression her her peachy face made his insides shake. "Sorry," he said softly, "Bad mood."

Her frown turned up and she laughed, "When aren't you?" He shook his head, the words not coming to him. "Anyway," They stood against the wall outside the dining room. She had her hands on the hips of her tight looking dress with too many frills on for his taste, but she made it look flawless. With a brief smile up at him but also caution tugging at her eyes, she continued, "I wanted to ask you something,"

He thrust his hands in his jacket pocket and remained a neutral expression, "And that would be?"

"Really, you don't have to be so rude," she said with a blustering tone. "I was merely wondering if you were all right, but now I see that you are but yourself and I needn't have wasted my breath." With a tired sigh she turned away and waltzed back into the dining room leaving Will a little lost.

**_Tessa POV_**

Why did he have to be so callous? Why can't he just hold a polite conversation like any normal human being. Tessa had these placid thoughts running through her mind while she quietly finished her breakfast beside Jem, her _fiance_.

She would never tire of saying that word and at the same time, she couldn't help but be torn. She missed Will. And it wasn't like she rarely saw him in person, because he often sulked in the corner of any room she found herself in - but more, she missed _him_.

She couldn't exactly explain why or how she missed him, because let's face it, his company wasn't exactly thrilling. But she just knew she _missed_ him.

There was a soft draft coming from the open window, which tickled the nape of her neck, causing her to twitch.

"Is there something wrong, dear?" asked Jem; he'd finished his breakfast and was busy reading the morning newspaper. Mostly all Tessa wanted to do was go back to her chamber and think. To herself.

She smiled politely and said, "Yes, of course. Just a little cold," She stood and arranged her dress so it wasn't sticking up at the back. "Do excuse me, I'm feeling a little light headed. Do you mind if I go back to my room for a little while?"

Jem looked instantly worried, but nodded never the less, "Are you quite alright?"

"Yes, yes," she said a little too casually; waving off his fussing. She said her goodbyes to Charlotte and Henry before heading to the door. When outside, she took a deep, cleansing breath; leaning against the wall, she heard a sound. It was a sort of tinkering, and was coming from down the hall, towards the stairs.

When Tessa got to the stairs, Will was leaning against the banister, playing with a necklace which had a silver symbol charm hanging from it. He noticed her looking and smirked, still leaning.

As he held up the chain and charm he said, "My mothers,"

"It's very pretty. May I take a look?" She noticed his face changed; expression became more alert than before, but he handed it gently to her anyway.

In her fingers, the silver felt extremely light and it was amazingly intricate. Tiny engravings were marked into the silver, but not at an obvious view. She really had to squint to understand them.

"Are these dates?" she enquired. Will's lips curved up slightly and he nodded.

"Yes," he said.

She gave him a wry smile, "Are you going to enlighten me?"

"Maybe when you're ready to be enlightened, I'll tell you." He grabbed the necklace from her hands – not too harshly – and rounded her to the stairs. She followed.

"What makes you think I'm not- Oh bother, I'm not in the mood for your little antics," she replied with a wary sigh.

He glanced back at her sharply but didn't keep eye contact. "Whatever could you mean?" he said sarcastically before turning off towards his bedroom. Tessa realised she was going in the wrong direction to her chamber a little too late. She practically all but followed Will into his room.

Will opened his door and peered back at her in the hall way, "Are you stalking me?"

Tessa was horrified. "No, of course I'm not stalking you. What an outrageous thing to imply!" Her hair was starting to come loose and strands flew in her eyes. She was a second from pushing the hair behind her ears but strangely Will beat her too it, and suddenly she was ultra aware of where she was.

"Is it though?" he whispered softly. Tessa blinked a few times, admiring his soft smile and eyelashes that seemed almost beautiful in the dim lighting of the hallway. She took a step back.

"Is what?" she asked, confused.

Will shook his head, "Nothing," He turned and stepped into his bedroom and before Tessa could enquire further as to what he meant, he closed the door, leaving her to stare in his wake. Flustered and annoyed.

****So, what did you think? I probably didn't do the series justice (who rarely does, eh?) but I do try. I'd like to thank my amazing Beta x-Gigi-x for taking time to look through each chapter. ****

****Here's to chapter three coming along soon! xx****


	3. Chapter 3

**I FLOVE you all SO much for all your amazing reviews. So so SO pleased this story has been received well. I couldn't wait for my beta to get back to me on this chapter so I'm posting it anyway. Hope it's good enough for you all, and I promise the next chapter will be more uplifting.. well.. as much as it can be considering how sad Will is :(**

**Enjoy. And please review xD**

_Chapter Three_

"I know the colours are too bright, that's what I am trying to say," Will could hear Cecily advice Tessa on flowers for the wedding a little too loudly. He sat in Jem's room, helping him with his own wedding plans, much to his disgust. No, he was not disgusted or against the marriage. He was just feeling very sad and, in an immature way, jealous.

"I wish she would quieten down," he found himself muttering, head turned to the door while Jem sifted through papers.

"What was that?"

Will faced his best friend and smiled – perhaps a little too much so – and shook his head.

"Nothing to worry about," he assured him calmly. Jem smiled back, his face lighting up with pure joy. Ever since Tessa had said yes, he had been somewhat impossible to want to be around. Yes, Will loved him as a brother and best friend, but even he had his limits. He tried not to let it get to him, however.

"Perfect," exclaimed Jem. "I trust you will keep the honeymoon location a surprise?"

He narrowed his gaze on Will, so much so that Will felt like he would shrink with the power.

"Of course," said Will with his casual smirk. "I wouldn't dream of ruining your-" He cut himself off, realising he was close to saying something less than sanitary. Jem didn't seem to notice, though. He was too busy writing letters out, inviting friends and, well, not that he had any family as such, but anyone he considered close to it – to the wedding.

"Shouldn't the be bride doing that? Or even the maid of honour?" Will enquired with mild interest. The afternoon sunlight was calling him. He hadn't spoken to Magnus in days and he wished for someone to confide in.

"Oh, I explained to Tessa that I would be more than happy to share the load. It is the least I can do,"

By two o'clock, Jem had finished his invites and asked Will to post them off on his way out.

Will accepted the challenge gallantly, as always, and disappeared out of the institute with a firm pep in his step. Whether that was his own sarcasm taking over him or actual excitement to seeing some new faces, he did not know.

He dropped off the dozen invites into their postbox and went to visit Magnus.

Now that he lived with Woolsey Scott, it was somewhat more awkward to just turn up, but Will guessed Magnus wouldn't care. Will knocked on the door, waiting patiently for someone to answer. A few seconds later Woolsey stood in the entrance, glancing down at Will with a sly grin that was rather kind of creepy. Will tried to be calm and not run away like a little girl.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't-"

"Will," said Will before the werewolf said anything else. Woolsey smiled, showing some gold teeth at the sides before gesturing for Will to enter. He did so carefully.

"To what do I owe this great visit? Changed your mind, perhaps?" He swept a hand over his body as though trying to entice Will.

Will swallowed hard, doing his best to smile casually. "I'm here to see Magnus. Is he here?"

The werewolf's expression lost its spark and pointed to the first room on the right, down the hallway.

Magnus was pacing the room with severity. His short black hair had some green streaks in it now, some new fad that Will didn't know about. His clothes appeared grubby from some unknown source, and his eyes and mouth were moving at an unnatural pace. His hands twisted together. With the slightest of moments, Magnus caught Will just as he was closing the sitting room door.

"Will!" he said suddenly, catching Will off guard. Magnus rushed over and hugged him with urgency and then let him go to sit down on the sofa, his feet tapping the carpet hard.

"What the devil is going on? You're acting like a scared rabbit!"

Magnus looked up at Will with wide eyes and then his expression cleared except for a wide smile of happiness. "Nice to see you too,"

"I only came over because I needed a new face," said Will with something close to bitterness. "Come to think of it, I could have done that by going to the asylum. I'm sure they would just love to hear my woes."

The laugh that came from his friend Magnus was nothing short of crazy.

"My boy, your woes will be a breath of fresh air compared to mine."

Will rubbed his hands together, "Oh, do tell."

"No, no, I want to hear something new. Tell me, how is dear Tessa these days?"

Will lowered his head, regretting coming for the tiniest second before divulging his heart to Magnus.

"I don't know where to start," started Will. "I've surely lost everything."

"Oh come now, I hardly think that's true. Was she not happy when you told her about the curse being lifted? Or rather, that there was no curse."

He stood and, much like Magnus had been when he first arrived, started to pace. His hands reached his hair and he felt like ripping it out with frustration.

"Oh," he laughed. "I told her. I have never told anyone so much in my life. Except you."

"So?" pressed Magnus with something like anticipation.

Will slouched and collapsed back on the sofa next to his friend.

"She is engaged to James!" he finished before putting his head in his hands and feeling every cell of sadness overlapping into tears. He was vaguely aware of a hand touching his back and the soothing motion of Magnus trying to calm him down, but now the flood gates had opened, he could barely stop it. He hated that he let himself be beat by emotions. What happened to the hard hearted Will? The Will Herondale – the careless, insensitive boy? He was gone now, or at least, hidden from sight. Now it was Pity-The-Boy-Who-Opened-His-Heart Will. A sorry state.

Like something out of a horror movie, Will finally lifted his head after a few minutes of silent sobbing, and wiped his nose on a hanky that was handed to him by Magnus.

"I'm sorry," Will said with sincerity.

"What ever for?" asked Magnus, his arm still around Will's shoulders and making Will feel a little self conscious.

"For being a girl," he replied with a small grin.

"Mr Herondale, don not ever apologise for having feelings. If there is one thing I have learnt in my long life it is that emotions will never leave you. No matter how much one tries," He sighed heavily, letting his arm leave Will and rested his hands on his knees instead. "Have you told Master Carstairs of your feelings towards Miss Gray?"

Will found himself laughing. "I couldn't do that to him,"

Magnus nodded, "You love him also?"

"Of course," answered Will, still sniffling. "Not the same way, but he's like family to me. I couldn't hurt him. Not after everything he has done for me. The amount of times he's gotten me out of trouble," Will looked out into the distance, wistfully. "Too many to count."

"Perhaps you should tell him," admitted Magnus. Will faced him with a startled expression.

"But how? How could I do that? It would surely destroy him. Just as it did me when Tessa told me he had proposed. We are apart of the same soul; when one is broken, the other is too. I've only spared him my heartache because I am so good at hiding my feelings, did you know." Something close to sarcasm reached his tone and he looked away.

Silence passed for minutes. Magnus appeared lost for anything to say, and Will could not say he was surprised. What could anyone say to him? It was his own fault for getting so involved in Tessa. Clearly she did not feel as deeply for him as he did for her. So why not just erase everything and start a new? Could a person do such a thing? Was it possible?

"What are you thinking?" asked Magnus.

Will paused, hands out in front of him. He slowly turned his head and saw pure honesty and caring in Magnus's eyes. He did not know how anyone could look at him with anything short of disgust right now, let alone caring about him. Enough with the pity party, he thought with derision.

"I'm thinking I should just forget about my feelings for Tessa and pretend nothing ever happened."

Magnus sighed, "I tell you, Will. That is not as easy as it sounds. Believe me, I have tried."

"Yes, but clearly you didn't try hard enough," retorted Will.

"I will pretend that is the hurt inside you speaking, and not anything suspect. I know you are not that hurtful,"

Will snarled, "You want to bet on that?"

"Oh please, do not go acting like you don not care again. Your whole charade is broken, and there is no going back. I have seen the true you, maybe more so than anyone else. You can not hide anything from me." Magnus was grinning now, completely ignoring Will's annoyance.

"Well, if that is how I am going to be treated, I say my visit here is over. Good day to you," Will turned and exited the door and the building without a further goodbye to either the werewolf or Magnus.

Magnus watched Will retreat with both sadness and regret.


	4. Chapter 4

**So... here's the next chapter. I wrote this by hand - took all of 4 pages..- and I got extremely pissed off when it covered 2 pages (barely) on my computer after typing it up. So I'm sorry this is so short. I will do my best to make chapter 5 longer. Please enjoy and as always... review if you can!**

_Chapter four_

**_Will _**

Will sat in a dining chair while he picked at a slice of bread. He hadn't been eating much lately. Then again, it wasn't as though he ate much on a normal basis anyway, however; his figure had been looking decisively thinner and his face paler.

He was alone in the room – asides from the weak sunlight coming in through the window, casting a glow over everything. A noise rattled at the door and he looked up wearily, his head feeling like a lead weight.

Charlotte entered, looking haunted; a heavy weight invisible on her shoulders.

His eyes widened with both surprise and worry as Jessamine followed behind her.

Will stood; a little lost for words – which was unusual for him to say the least – his eyes catching Charlottes.

He looked at Jessamine with regret. "Jessamine," he said stiffly. She bowed her head, embarrassed.

"Will, I need to talk to Jessie alone," said Charlotte with a swift look to the other girl and back to him.

On his way out along the corridor, he found Jem lurking.

"What's wrong, brother?"

Jem gave him a wan smile. "She's up to something," he said, his eyes looking at the door Will has just left.

"If she wasn't, it would be extremely out of character."

His friend narrowed his eyes, "Will! Are you not the least bit curious as to her return?"

Will smirked casually, "Should I be?"

"Well yes, I suppose you should."

Will patted his best friends shoulder. "You need to relax."

"And you need to eat," replied Jem, letting Wills arm drop lazily back to his side. "Look at you. You're practically wasting away. Tell me friend, what is wrong?" Jem's expression seemed so warm and true, and Will felt a tug at the hug strings.

He tilted his head innocently, "What makes you think there is anything wrong?"

"You would tell me, wouldn't you?" Jem said, frowning a little. "If there was a problem..."

Will felt something in him shatter. "Of course," he lied with a confident grin.

It wasn't as if he wanted to lie to Jem; if anything, it hurt him more to see his friend worried.

But how could he possibly tell his best friend that the reason he was so unhappy was because the woman he was about to marry, was the same woman he was hopelessly in love with. No, it would break his heart.

He needed to go out and forget. Clear his head. Will parted with Jem and went to his room to get his coat before heading out to the town. He intended to go to a local pub, but he suddenly found himself walking towards London Bridge; leaning over the railing, overlooking the River Thames.

He was near enough the institute for anyone who wanted him to find him easily enough. Not that he expected anyone to miss him. The night was drawing in fast, the sun setting and the moon taking it's place eagerly. The sky overcast with cloud, blotting out all the stars that London never saw.

He found himself deriding himself for being so pathetic; having a warped feeling of wishing he still believed he had the curse. At least that way he could continue to push those he loved away; keeping up his barrier of feelings, so no one could become as broken like he felt at that moment.

**_Tessa_**

"Has anyone seen Will?" Tessa heard Jem ask. She put down her Jane Austen novel and glanced up to see his head peered around the door of the drawing room where she and Wills sister, Cecily currently resided.

"No, I haven't I'm afraid." replied Cecily, looking up from the floor where she was drawing on parchment. Jem's eyes narrowed worriedly.

"Is there a problem?" asked Tessa, concern milking the words.

He sent her a warm smile. "Nothing I can't handle, dear," then left the room to which Cecily continued her art work.

Tessa had an idea. "Do excuse me, CeCe," she said, standing up and resting her book on her vacant chair. Cecily looked up at her, "Where are you going?"

Tessa grinned, "There's someone I need to speak to."

Outside the institute it was starting to rain. Tessa called to Cyril to take her to the town. Although a part of her didn't actually believe he would have made it that far, she could at least keep an eye out on the way. They'd barely travelled as far as half a mile out, towards London Bridge, when Tessa was calling for Cyril to pull over to the side so she could get off the carriage.

Will was wrapped up in his black frock coat, leaning precariously over the bridge railing. The road was quiet at this time, surprising for the time of year. She told Cyril she wouldn't be long and went along to find Will, standing beside him quietly.

"What are you doing here? Did they send out a search party already? I had a feeling they might." He glanced around and when his eyes fell on Tessa he said "Only you? Not what I'd call a party, but I suppose such notions have lowered over time."

He turned back to face the river, bending forward until his head was almost upside down. "You know," he continued. "I never realised just how peaceful watching water flow by could be. Although, it's not so nice on the-"

"Will you please shut _up_!" snapped Tessa, losing her patience. He stood straight, surprise lighting his face at her tone. His lips curved into a wry smile.

"Am I bothering you? Forgive me, but I do believe it was I that came here for space." he responded sarcastically.

"You really are a piece of work Will Herondale! There are people at the institute that care very much about you, and you go and behave as though-"

"Do you?" his eyes bore into heres, so deep that she nearly found herself lost in a black river. She shook her head, trying to clear it. "Sorry, do I what?"

"Do you care? With everything that's been going on, I suspect not, but I guess there is no harm in my asking."

Tessa felt confused. "Of course I care, you idiot! What kind of question is that? Just because I'm marrying your-"

"-best friend, that shouldn't mean you don't care any less. Is that what you were going to say? Well yes, I rather got the impression from what you told me in the drawing room the other day, that you didn't want much to do with me."

"How-" she caught her breath; struggling to think coherently. "How can you say something like that?" She said incredulously. "To think I wouldn't care about you is simply ludicrous!"

Will laughed bitterly. "Is it now?" With a sudden burst of unbelievable rage and hurt, she slapped him across the face. He appeared shocked; reaching up to rub his cheek, eyes widening.

The next thing she knew, she was flung into his arms, her lips crushed against his.

**P.S. If certain bits seem out of character, I apologise. Sometimes it's hard to know what they would or wouldn't do since I'm not Cassie Clare, I'm not psychic! I just come up with what I feel suits them, and hope for the best. My Beta seems to be absent, so I'm letting you all be the judge. **

P.p.s Will seems to be a bit of a martyr doesn't he? lol


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey there fangirls (and fanboys) I'm so glad you're liking this story so far. I try my hardest to get it right. I know chapter 4 had a few niggly things wrong with it, but I gather nothing too bad (yes, I'm aware the slap from Tessa seemed a tad extreme, but i got stuck okay? And if I was in her shoes, all that babbling from him would have made me do more than a slap *cough*punch*cough*) Thank you all SO much for the reviews, you're all too kind!**

**I tried to edit my past chapters to make them... well... more victorian (I thought they didn't say 'didn't' or 'wasn't' ... turns out after ages of editing, they actually DID say words like that - so I fail!) So I then had to go back over it and put it all back, well, most of it. So if you've re-read the other chapters (for what ever reason) and you notice changes, I apologise. *which reminds me to re-edit this chapter also* so yeah... please continue to review and if you spot anything out of character, tell me and I will take note. **

**A word of warning: This chapter may or may not cause uncontrollable tears (because it certainly made me want to cry) so have tissues near by just in case. **

**P.S. I got a reply from Cassandra Clare today for a question about where in London the institute was. I fail. Turns out the answer was in the back of the books all along! So her answer made me feel not only dumb, but embarrassed to no end. (but I still fangirled that I got a reply!)**

**ENJOY! **

**Chapter Five**

_**Tessa**_

Back at the institute, Tessa decided to take her mind off what had transpired on the bridge. She went into the dining room where Charlotte sat quietly with Jessamine at the table sipping tea.

As she entered, Charlotte looked up and smiled warmly. She gestured for Tessa to join them.

"Tessa," Charlotte said by way of greeting.

"What's going on?" She enquired, looking curiously between the two women opposite her.

"I took your advice and myself and Jessie have had a long chat. I have decided she can live with us again."

Tessa looked at Charlotte then to Jessamine who appeared a little embarrassed and drank more tea. "Have you spoken to Henry about this?"

Charlotte bit her lip self-consciously. "Not as such, no." she confessed. "He has, as one can only describe, been a little pre-occupied of late. I fear this isn't the right time to tell him. I shall wait until he is of right mind." She seemed so sure of her decision that Tessa didn't dare contradict her, and instead watched as Sophie appeared by the table ready to set out some scones. She offered Tessa one, who answered with an eager smile. Sophie's posture was tense as she served fresh tea to Jessamine, and Tessa could not help but wonder of her thoughts. Did she think there anything suspect about Jessie's return?

"So, Jessamine," started Tessa, before taking a bite from her scone with relish delight: cream oozed out of the centre. "How have you been?"

"Not great," replied the other girl. "I'm afraid ever since the Silent City, I've not been very well. Mentally, or physically."

"Oh, how so?"

Jessamine seemed to want to dodge the question but Tessa held firm: if they were going to find out more abut her circumstances, now was the time.

"I've been ever so depressed," Jessamine continued. "Mortmain hasn't been that sympathetic with me since Nate's death and all but chucked me onto the streets."

Tessa let out a moan of disgust, a sigh of sympathy, but some part of her felt the girl had got what was coming to her.

"I'm ever so sorry to hear that," she replied with earnest. "I suppose, since you will be staying here permanently," Charlotte's slight nod signified the answer. "that I should invite you to mine and Jem's wedding," Tessa tried to hide a wry smile as Jessamine appeared almost overwhelmed with surprise and gratitude.

"Oh, really? Oh that is- Are you sure?" Her face dropped a little at the prospect. "I mean, I would not want to make things awkward for you," She seemed genuinely unsure, and that, thought Tessa, was what made her realise that Jessamine was being true. Then again, she could have been acting.

"Only if you promise me one thing," said Tessa with a stern expression. "You must promise myself, and Charlotte, and to everyone else living under this roof, that you will play no more games," She looked at Charlotte again. "Isn't that right?"

"Yes, I'm afraid I should have been more thorough with our talk. Jessamine, can you truly, honestly, say you have gone back on your ways? You will not betray us again?"

The other girl looked down, a little colour appearing in her cheeks, either from embarrassment or shame, and then looked up.

"I can never promise anything, since I cannot tell the future, but I _can_ tell you that I feel deep, deep regret for my actions, and I sincerely hope never to fall into a trap like that again."

Charlotte smiled with hope, "Then you have our gratefulness, but I fear you're going to have to be extra nice and repentant to Henry if you want to earn his trust again. And," she added. "if I am truly honest, ours. It is going to take time," The look on Jessamine's face said wonders. She did not really think we would trust her right away, did she?

"I don't know how I can thank you enough for this," She said sheepishly. "I do not even forgive myself."

"Oh," laughed Tessa, slightly bitterly. "I'm sure you will manage to."

_**Will**_

Lying upon his bed, staring up at the white ceiling with his hands behind his head, Will wondered.

A lot of things churned around inside his head. Mostly, about what would have happened to him and Tessa, had Cyril, for all his intents and purposes, not shown up in the carriage to pick them up. From the intense frown on his face, Will knew he had seen the kiss. It was not supposed to have happened; Will knew that. He felt bad enough for betraying his _parabatai_. The problem was that he could not get over his feelings for Tessa. He felt like he was on a tight rope and at each side, there was someone jostling the rope, trying to knock him off. He felt tied. Ideally, he would stop. He would love them both equally, respect their marriage with open arms and be the man he was expected to be.

He chuckled at the remembrance of Tessa smacking him across the face with brute force. She sure had some strength in those hands of hers. No one, not even Jem, had caused that much surprise out of him. He never knew she had it in her.

A knock sounded and Sophie, much to her delight, he was sure, poked her head around the door.

"Master Will, Master James is calling for you." she said quietly. Her expression seemed both pained and restrained, as though she was holding back something he was sure he should hear.

"I will be along in a moment," he said, rolling sluggishly off the bed. Did James know? Was he aware of his feelings towards Tessa? No, he thought sadly. Jem would never know, he was far too blind, in some ways.

When he got to James bedroom, he was surprised, and a little worried. His friend was lying in bed, sweating profusely; lips as pale as silver and eyes bloodshot. Will rushed quickly to his side, reaching out to hold his hand. He leaned his head closer to the top of the bed just as Jems lips started to quiver with effort.

"Will," he said finally. Every form of emotion that Jem held towards Will was thrown in that one word. Love, honestly, trust, worry.

"I'm here," replied Will, trying to hold back his ever growing shade of guilt that was creeping back in his mind. "I'm here."

Jem gestured to the door, which was being closed by Sophie. "I feel awful,"

"I know, I know." Will crooned softly, rubbing his thumb along his friends hand.

"Tessa-"

"She doesn't need to know," he whispered then paused when he saw Jem's expression. "Unless you want her to know?"

He shook his head slowly, "No, no. I think-" He coughed violently. "I think it's best if she doesn't see me this way."

Will bowed his head, grief catching at his heart. "I was so hoping you were doing well," he said.

"Me too," agreed Jem.

"You will recover."

"You can not know that,"

"I'm sure," persisted Will, all sense of wishful thinking out of his voice. He was serious. James would survive. "You will be well, and you will marry the woman you love, and you will live happily for many years."

Jem's lips shakily curved up into a smile, "You always know how to be positive, Will. I don't know what I would do without you."

Will touched his friends forehead and pulled away too sharply, afraid of the temperature. He was burning at an unnatural rate.

Jem closed his eyes for a moment; at one point Will thought he'd fallen asleep, but no, he reopened them slowly, eyes never wavering from Wills.

"Pass me my water please?" Will saw the decanter of water on his bedside table and poured some into a glass before holding it out to him.

He lifted his head and took a couple of swallows before handing the glass back. His head fell back onto the pillow with a soft thump. Jem sighed.

"Is there anything you wish for me to do? Anything?" Will was aware he sounded desperate; his guilt about Tessa practically jumping out at his friend; screaming.

James shook his head, blinking rapidly. "No, I think I'll be okay now. I have you."

Not much time later, Jem fell asleep. Will was sure he had because his eyes were closed and his breathing deepened. He let go of his friends hand gently, and stood to leave. He stared down at Jem's face – peaceful, not as pale as before, but still not his usual colour. His eyes flickered to the door and then decided it was best to retreat, to find Charlotte and express his deep concerns. Jem was getting worse, and he feared it was his fault. He did not know how or why, but he felt it deep within him. A sick worry, a curse. Perhaps he had been too careless, too occupied in his own woes to see it. But it was there.

He left the bedroom quietly, tiptoeing out into the hall, closing the door behind him. With a strong notion, he went along the corridor to find Charlotte. When he came across Sophie again, she told him Charlotte was still in the dining room with Jessamine. He grimaced. He really did not want to get involved in that trouble, especially since he did not particularly like or trust Jessamine after what she did. He might be a different person now since finding out about the curse, but that did not completely mean he had new eyes. He saw her now for what she really was: a liar and a betrayer.

With an open sigh, he left Sophie to her work and headed towards the Dining room anyway, on the basis that he could at least ask to speak with Charlotte alone.

He was suddenly caught off guard when he opened the door to find Tessa there with them. He swallowed, his eyes skipping over her to Charlotte and Jessamine.

They all looked up, a little surprised but over all pleasantly surprised, or at least, he got that impression from the person he was looking for.

"Will, what a nice surprise," she shrilled, putting down her tea. He found himself wondering how much they had had. He had left them a few hours again.

He crooked a smile, "Indeed it is. Could I have a word," He asked her. "Alone." he added, seeing the curious looks from Tessa and Jessie.

She appeared wary for a second but agreed and followed him out into the hallway.

"What is it? Is everything okay?"

He leant against the wall and felt all the weight he had been balancing since leaving Jem's room crush in on him. "Jem has fallen ill again," he said. "I am extremely worried."

Her face fell, a hand crept up to her mouth, covering it in horror.

"Oh dear, should I go up to see him?"

Will shook his head. "He is asleep now. But I fear this is a much stronger turn," His eyes cast downward, feeling a prickling sensation coming on. He never cried, and he was not about to start now.

"If you are sure," she said unsurely. "Does he need anything? Has he had his medication?"

He nodded, "As far as I know, after the last stock I gave him, he should have plenty to last him a week."

"Maybe Tessa-"

He thrust out a hand to stop her, "No, he specifically asked that Tessa not know. He does not wish to scare her, especially so close to the... wedding."

She nodded sympathetically, eyeing the door nervously. "You do realise, if he gets any worse, she will have to know. It is not fair to hide it from her."

He looked away from her gaze, "I am well aware of that," he said sharply. "But he will recover." He bit back a sob and tried for confident and self-assured. "He always does."

(**laziness must run in my family, because after spending ages editing the words, and then finding out they do say words like us, then re-editing back to the original language, well... I think I lost track and basically only turned some of them back. I'm sorry if some of it seems posh and the half not so. My bad)**

**Review? **


	6. Chapter 6

** Thank you all for the love and reviews for the past 5 chapters. I will continue my job; giving you more of Tessa and Will at their best. And sexual tension. RAWR! :) **

**As always, please review :)**

Chapter 6

Tessa politely excused herself from her tea with Charlotte and Jessamine. She could not get over what Will had said to Charlotte out in the hallway, just outside of the dining room where she had sat.

Jem was ill. She was his fiancé for goodness sakes; of course she of all people should now what was going on.

She had heard him say that Jem, the man she was going to be marrying, had personally requested that she not know. Tessa didn't believe him Jem would say such a thing, and that Will was just being selfish.

With a purposeful stride, she headed upstairs and along the corridor that led to Jem's bedroom. She hadn't been paying much attention to where she was going, and was startled when she looked up suddenly and walked right into Will. He stopped her, helping her balance by gripping her arms, but she soon realised he wasn't letting go.

"Where are you going?" he asked in a deep, silky voice. She looked into his dark blue eyes and knew she needed to back away.

Defiantly, she pushed away from his grip and folded her arms. "I'm going to see Jem," she answered coldly, getting ahold of the door handle and turning it. Will jumped and gently, but quickly, moved her away from the door and further down the hall, the door still closed.

"What are you doing?" he hissed.

She decided to play innocent. "Going to see my fiancé, not that it's any of your business."

Her smile was tight; what she really wanted to do was walk away from him, but she was trapped. He pressed her against the wall, arm out cutting her off. His expression was serious and stern.

"No, you're not. He's busy."

"I wouldn't know that now, would I?" she said, arching an eyebrow. "Now let me go so I can see him." She turned, but he put the other arm out against the wall, completely surrounding her with his body. He smelt of something sweet, musky, and his body warmth was inviting. She trailed her eyes away from his and shook her head of the thoughts of him that were creeping around.

"No." He wasn't taking his eyes off of her, and they were completely alone in the corridor. Now would be the time for Sophie to appear, she thought.

"Come on, Will," she pleaded. "I know you said he doesn't want me to see him, but really!"

He curved a lip, "Oh, so you were eavesdropping?" he mused.

"Well, it was hardly difficult with you and Charlotte standing barely a foot from the dining room door." Nobody said anything for a long few seconds. She started to feel uncomfortable. "Will, please. This isn't right."

He lifted a hand and let a couple of fingers stroked her cheeks. She felt like a volcano about to erupt with all the tension they were building together.

"Why can't we just talk?" He bit his lip, looking at her longingly, but there was something there that was palpable, and she just couldn't tell what. "Look, I'm desperately sorry for what happened on the bridge earlier. I really am. I just-"

"That's the problem, William. You're not sorry. I thought you loved Jem,"

"I do!" For a split second he relaxed his stance and she thought he was going to back away, but he merely moved to lean against the wall beside her. "I do," he repeated. "But you have to understand something,"

She narrowed her eyes, "And what is that?"

It appeared he was stuck for words to say. She could see the conflict going on in his mind and she so desperately wanted to know what he was thinking, but she knew deep down that if she tried to find out, she might get lost.

He folded his arms and sighed, head bowed. Tessa was fully aware that if she wanted to walk away, he was letting her. And heaven knows, she should have. Did she really want to stand less than ten feet away from her fiancé's bedroom, having this conversation with the one person she should be avoiding for her own hearts safety?

**Will**

He was doing it again; he was making her hate him. He knew she should; the thought of hurting his best friend and Tessa, wasn't worth the price. It was far easier to make her hate him.

"I know you must hate me," he said out loud, as though she was pulling at his thoughts, making them spill out.

Tessa shook her head; strands of loose hair floating over her eyes and he felt his fingers twitch.

"I don't hate you," she said softly. "I just wish sometimes you'd be honest with me instead of all these games."

"But I'm not playing a game."

She half smiled pitifully, "Perhaps not anymore. But remember before, before you announced you didn't have an imaginarya curse and declared your love for me?" He found himself nodding, thinking back to that disastrous moment in the drawing room. "Those moments when you tried to push us all away and pretend you didn't care, that you hated the world, those moments can't be erased. At least not this quickly. You have to realise that I'm a different person now."

He reached up subconscious and tucked the strand of hair behind her ear, then mentally kicked himself for giving in.

"I-"

She carefully moved his hand away that was lingering on her face. "Don't say anything; just don't, okay? This has to end."

He realised he was frantically shaking his head with denial. "No, I can't let you go."

Before he had a chance to stop her, she was walking away towards James's bedroom door. "It's too late." she said as she took a step backwards before turning away completely.

**Tessa**

"Tessa?" She found Jem sitting up in bed reading a book. When she entered his bedroom, he looked up, surprised to see her. "What-" He cleared his throat. "What are you doing here?" She frowned. "Not that I'm not pleased to see you, of course." He half smiled.

"Will said you didn't want-," She saw how pale he was looking and her heart lurched and hurried to his side. "Dear god, are you all right?"

He put down his book and faced her, gripping her hand. His skin felt cold to the touch, and when her spare hand reached up to feel his forehead,; she found he was burning up.

"I have to admit I did tell Will I didn't want to see you, but that was only because I knew if you saw me like this, you would worry. And I can't have my new bride-to-be scared," His gentle smile that he gave her, suddenly caused her to lean forward and embrace him in a hug.

"I'm so sorry," she sniffled, realising too late that she was crying. When she pulled back, she grabbed a hanky from her sleeve. "I have to admit also, I didn't believe Will when-"

"He told you?" Jem looked a little hurt at first until she shook her head.

"No, I overheard him telling Charlotte."

"Oh," His face fell a little, but the tension so clearly left his shoulders. She supposed he thought Will had betrayed his wish. Tessa swallowed hard, remembering her kiss on the bridge. That was forever engraved in his memory, and somehow seeing Jem like this made her feel worse.

"It doesn't matter," he said. "I'm glad you're here, never the less. Are you all right?" He looked at Tessa worriedly, as though it was she that was ill.

"Of course," she said with a half smile. "You know, just thinking about all the things to arrange."

He nodded once. Her hand was still in his, almost protectively.

"I should be well enough by tomorrow," said Jem, smiling up at her positively. When she didn't respond, he added, "Is there something you wish to talk to me about?"

She shook her head, "No, nothing important anyway."

"You know you can talk to me about anything."

"I know."

He half smiled, his cheeks had more colour now and his eyes sparkled with the candlelight.

"Why don't you go and talk to Will; tell him that I sent you to discuss wedding plans. Seen as he is the best man," encouraged Jem.

Her smile was strained as she stood to leave; the thought of having to actually talk to Will wasn't appealing. At least not for the reason it should be. "If you wish, I can come back and see you before I sleep?"

He wearily shook his head, "No, it's okay. I will speak to you tomorrow."

"Okay then." With a brush her lips on his, she left him to rest.

Will was still outside when she left the bedroom. He came up to her with an eager expression.

"How is he doing?"

"Surely you know? He is confident he shall be up tomorrow."

Will bowed his head sadly, a weight on his shoulders. "He is too optimistic, I fear it might be the-" He shook his head. "No, I must be positive." When he looked back at Tessa, he had a half smile. "So, did he send you to tell me off?"

"No," she replied sharply, starting to walk away from him; but he caught up with a steady pace. "He requested that I coordinate wedding plans with you." She peered at him from the corner of her eye, "Apparently you are the best man."

He appeared pleased with himself; all sense of worry gone. "Well yes, who else?"

She was a few feet from the stairs when she found herself stopping abruptly and turning to Will. Confusion whirled inside of her;, along with many other feelings.

"Will, I've been thinking,"

"Oh dear," he teased. "Best not strain yourself." She smacked him across the arm, but she was grinning slightly despite her best efforts not find him amusing.

"I mean, I have been thinking about what happened back on the bridge, and I've come to realise that I was just as to blame as yourself."

"You're only just realising that?" he said with a raise of a brow. "I had the impression it was all you." He said this in jest, but she saw there was a serious edge to his tone as well.

"You know what I mean." she said. "I feel awful, but..." Her voice drifted off, seeing no one around them, she felt compelled to tell him. "I don't regret it," she said finally.

He reached up and touched her cheek, she didn't turn her head. His fingers gently tilted her head up and she found herself looking into his dark eyes.

"I don't regret it either," he whispered softly, his head leaning closer to her. What were they doing?

Tessa leant against a door, and she was vaguely aware that it was her bedroom. She felt behind her for the door handle and pushed it open. They fell inside, his lips now on hers and all their emotion mingling together like paint.

**much love to my beta ShadowhuntingNephilim123 :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Woah... are we at chapter 7 already? Seems like only yesterday I was finishing up Clockwork Prince and thinking of this idea. And 30 reviews and god knows how many hits later, your encouragement has exceeded my expectations and so here we are... Will Tessa and Will figure out they belong together? What about poor Jem? I know chapter 6 left some of your in a bit of a tangle, what with the slight cliff hanger and all. I hope now you can feel rested... for a short time at least. hahah i am evil!:P**

**Enjoy, and always, please leave your reviews! :)**

Chapter 7

**Will**

He kicked the door behind him closed and felt Tessa's heartbeat beneath her skin as he kissed her neck.

"What are we doing?" said Tessa, spoken like a whisper against his ear.

"The right thing," he said back, his voice husky from heavy breathing. They reached her bed and she began to unbutton his shirt while he fiddled with her dress.

"I can't-" Her moans caught him unawares. Was he doing something wrong? Will stumbled forwards, causing her to collapse back onto her mattress with a squeal. She laughed while he tumbled on top of her, and it was the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard. "Do this," she told him.

He paused, breaking away from her with a bemused expression.

"Are you sure?" he said dryly. "Because if you like, I can stop." He was teasing her, but for a slow second he wondered if she would actually take him seriously. She raised an eyebrow then pulled at his collar to bring their lips back together.

He didn't regret a thing, although at the back of his mind, he realised it was unfair: not only to James, but to Tessa as well. Then again, she was just as in control of herself as he was. If she wanted to stop, he wouldn't argue. Or at least, that is what he told himself. It was as though they were drunk – maybe somebody had slipped some of that magical lemonade from the party into his drink. But that was impossible.

All too soon, somebody rapped on the door of Tessa's chamber and he paused, staring down at Tessa and hoping whoever it was would leave. After a seconds silence he thought that his wish had come true, so he smiled and brushed his lips over Tessa's neck and heard her squeal as he tickled her with his breath. A rush of light made him roll over and he saw Sophie enter the room with a stack of towels in her grip. She began to apologise about something and then upon seeing Will she bowed her head abruptly and started to back out of the room.

"Sophie!" called Tessa from beside him. She pushed herself off the bed, leaving Will to look on as she went after Sophie.

He looked down at himself; his white bloused shirt undone at the neck, showing a strip of his chest. Sighing, he re-buttoned his shirt and moved to sit at the end of the bed. A few moments later, Tessa re-entered the room and her face was a picture of sadness.

**Tessa**

"Sophie!" she called, rushing off her bed frantically, forgetting all about Will and worried more about what exactly Sophie saw and if she planned on telling anyone.

"I'm so sorry miss," Sophie said with her head still bowed when Tessa caught her a few feet outside her bedroom door. "I should have guessed you'd be busy."

Tessa wasn't sure if she detected a bitter tone to Sophie's words, but decided to over look it. It wasn't like Sophie to be rude or be judgemental, at least not so openly.

"Sophie, please, just let me explain-"

Sophie glanced up, her eyes turned down as she stared at Tessa, pity drawn in her slight frown.

"There's nothing to explain, miss."

"But there is!" hissed Tessa. "There is! And if you'd just hear me out. What you saw-"

"I didn't see anything, miss Tessa. I merely opened the door, saw you were on the bed with someone and assumed it was master James,"

Tessa saw something in Sophie's eyes then, a spark of knowing. _She's lying, _she thought.

"Please don't tell him." pleaded Tessa.

"Tell who, miss?"

Tessa shook her head with a mixture of slight regret and sorrow. "You know who. It would only break his heart."

"It's not my business to get involved, miss. I will not say anything." She balanced her towels in her arms, seeming uncomfortable with the conversation they were having, and pierced a straight face at Tessa.

"But remember what I asked of you, miss, the day of his proposal? About not breaking his heart?"

Tessa nodded. There was no other words needed; Sophie had made it clear her feelings towards her and the situation. With a polite nod, Tessa watched her turn and leave back the way she'd come. She never did give Tessa the towels.

With a deep, shaky breath, Tessa went back into her bedroom and frowned at Will sitting so patiently still at the end of her bed. She suddenly felt a tug of sadness towards him that she couldn't quite explain.

"I suppose I should leave," he said in a deep monotone, his voice containing a trace of disappointment. She watched him stand, walk towards her, pause, looking down at her. He lifted his arm up, his hand inches from her cheek, a strained look on his face; even with the room so dark, she could see the pain radiating from him. Then without touching her, he dropped his arm and continued out of the door without a backwards glance. The door closed and then collapsed on her bed, crying into her cotton sheets.

**Will**

He found Sophie walking out of the kitchen with a determined expression. When she spotted him heading towards her, she halted and turned away back into the kitchen.

"Sophie, wait!" he called with as little desperation as he could muster; he didn't need Bridget making up those daft rhymes again. She stopped just inside the door; he stood a few feet away, looking after her helplessly. When she turned, her arms were folded and her eyes downcast.

After a pause, her eyes lifted and her expression turned serene, as though not a trouble passed her by.

"Yes, Master Will?"

He pushed back the urge to grab her by the shoulders and beg her not to say anything to anyone about what she may or may not have seen, but instead he said, "May I speak with you?"

She feigned surprise. "You wish to speak to but a humble maid, Master Will?" Will nodded. She closed the door behind her and walked with him. "Very well, then." Her attitude was final and he couldn't help but admire her in that second. There weren't many housemaids that would talk to their employers the way Sophie often did. The fact that all of them in the Institute became a family, somewhat helped their relationship.

"I need to know what you saw and whether you will keep it to yourself?" he said outright, when they'd walked further down the hall.

"I assure you, I didn't see anything, and even if I had, I would think twice before divulging such rumours."

Will suppressed a relieved sigh. Smiling meekly he put a delicate hand on her shoulder, where she looked upon it with mild surprise.

"I hope you realise how grateful I am. I couldn't bear for James to find out."

Sophie calmly brushed away his touch and stepped back. "Master James deserves better than you," she said coldly before nodding a goodbye and leaving. He was left feeling hurt and at the back of his mind, bemused.

With a final glance at the now closed kitchen door, he decided maybe he should go and read some poetry; nothing calmed him more. Or maybe it was because he felt closer to Tessa whenever he read pieces of art they loved. What she loved, he tended to find endearing as well.

Unfortunately – or not, depending on his frame of mind – Jessamine was in the drawing room where he was about to pick up a book.

She jumped slightly, a startled look on her weary face, making her look younger.

"Oh, Will," she said, then realising how awkward the situation was, she added, "Um, I was just..." Her eyes cast upon her own book she was reading in the lounge chair. He raise a skeptical eyebrow in answer to her position.

"You're reading? And there I was thinking I'd seen it all in my short life."

"Well, sometimes there is cause for a change," she said with small amount of derision.

"Will you be staying long?"

He wasn't sure, but he got the impression she wasn't comfortable with the topic. She hunched her shoulders and looked down.

"I...I'm not sure." she answered meekly.

"Didn't Charlotte tell you whether you were staying permanently or not?"

"Oh, yes she did. But, I get the impression she's the only one who would would like me to."

Will let out a sinister chuckle. "And are you really questioning their reasons, Jessamine?"

She shook her head. "I know why you and anyone else might have your doubts about my returning,"

"Doubts? There are no doubts where I am concerned." He leant against the door, arms lazily resting by his side while he, in his saddened and frustrated mood, watched Jessamine suffer her moment of guilt.

Suddenly it was as if a switch had turned on in her head and her features changed to a snide smile.

"Still not getting what you want?" she tossed at him when he hadn't said anything for a few sullen seconds. He narrowed his eyes, wondering what she could possibly mean. But her demeanour told him she was onto him. They hadn't lived together for over five years and not learnt anything about each other's mannerisms.

He laughed. "You would know all about that." It was undeniably weak as a come back he had to admit.

Jessamine, with all her long flowing blonde hair and haughty looks, stood from her reading chair and stepped closer towards Will.

"You may come here to spit fire on me, Will Herondale, but I can tell a bitter mood from a mile away. Something's got you riled up, and I'm betting it's not my return. Has something happened between you and dear Tessa?"

"You think you know me so well."

She was so close to him now that he could smell the sweet perfume she wore, wafting from her pores like smoke.

"I probably know you better than you know yourself. I may appear aloof and uninterested in this life, but I learn." She backed away slightly, taking him in with one flick of her eyes. "Besides, I hear you had a slight turn around while I've been away. Something about singing demon pox songs?"

He straightened from his stance. "Who told you _that_?"

She sniggered. "Does it matter? And don't try to kid me about Tessa. I can see it every time you look at her. You're in love with her, aren't you?"

With all his strength he tried not to let his emotions give him away.

"Of course I'm not in _love_ with her," he said as blandly as he could manage. "What an absurd thing to assume. You know perfectly well she's engaged to-"

"Jem. Yes, I _do _know. Which is why I'm intrigued about your weird behaviour all of a sudden."

"It's not that sudden, actually. This is how I often behave, or did you forget in all the two weeks you've been away sulking away your troubles?"

"I was _in _the Silent City, you little _rat_. And in case you haven't noticed, I have paid for my crime."

He edged away from her stare and further into the room, aiming for the chair. When he finally sat and got himself comfortable, he noticed Jessamine was glaring at him.

"Let's say, for arguments sake, I do have feelings for Tessa. That maybe I love her. There's no point of it now since there is nothing to come of it. Tessa is to be wed shortly, so let's end this ridiculous notion and get back to how we were; arguing over your return." He half smiled at her, but he was all too aware it probably looked more like a snarl.

"Fine." He watched her fling open the door to leave then stop dead. He also noticed Tessa on the other side, eyes wide in surprise, before walking away; Will found himself wondering how much she had heard, if anything. Or whether just seeing him had made her flee with disgust. Jessamine cast an amused glance his way before closing the door behind her.

**Another shout out to my beta ShadowhuntingNephilim123 for helping me along.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello all :) Nice to see you again. I am churning these babies out fairly quickly, aren't I? Well, don't just sit there staring... read! :P **

**P.s. Review? Thanks.**

**Chapter 8:**

**Tessa**

It had been nearly a week since Jem took to his bed, and Tessa was, along with several other members of the institute family, becoming increasingly worried as the days went on. Surely he should be better by now? She knew that what was wrong with him would never truly leave, but he had recovered from these type of situations before.

Each day that he was lying helplessly, Tessa would visit his bedside. Anything to help distract him. Anything to make her guilt go away.

She hadn't seen nor spoken to Will since the incident in her bedroom, and despite her feelings, she sincerely hoped she didn't have to, either. Realistically she knew she could not go for long avoiding him, since he is the best man and that Jem and her were planning to be married in less than three weeks, but still, she tried her best.

It was the Friday after Jem fell ill that she left his room feeling somewhat troubled – more so than usual.

And as with every evening, the guilt rushed to her head like a douse of alcohol.

Tessa had barely been eating, and it was starting to show. Her dresses gradually appeared loose and her face had a pale, shadow mask each time she looked in the mirror.

She had arranged a wedding discussion with Charlotte that evening, but she didn't feel like it; no part of her wanted to think of the wedding just that moment. She merely wanted to take to her own bed with sorrow.

Tessa slept fitfully; her conscious beating down on her like a dreamt of Nate; looking like he used to, before he betrayed her, before he was manipulated into working for Mortmain, before she found out he wasn't really her brother. She saw Will, dishevelled and handsome, looking forlorn and agonised. She saw Will holding Jem in a bundle of blankets, just the tiniest bit of his silver-white hair peeking out of the end.

Tessa felt her heart racing as she woke up before she could consciously scream. All these images she so badly tried to put together; to have them make sense. But everybody knew dreams didn't make sense. And if they did, chances are they weren't dreams.

Sometime later she jumped as someone rapped on the door. Stumbling over the thinning carpet she went to see who it might be. Will, in a cotton white shirt, tie loose at the neck, face drawn and eyes puffy, stood staring at her, one arm leaning against the door border. His expression was full of amusement, but his eyes seemed deep; void holes that sunk down in the pits of despair, no matter how hard she tried to find some sort semblance of calm in those blue eyes, she couldn't. She smiled tentatively, testing out the emotion, trying out her expression. He smiled back, but it didn't reach his eyes, still, and then she took a careful glance either side of the hallway and grabbed his tie, pulling him into her bedroom.

"You shouldn't be here," she said sweetly;, wanting to sound reprimanding but it came out sultry instead. This wasn't like her, but some part of her didn't care.

He took off his tie casually, and flung it at the chair beside the window. He didn't once look away from her, and she felt chills run their way down her arms and her back, up her legs and rest in a place so deep in her belly that she couldn't help but shiver as she took him in. He didn't have Jem's carefulness; Jem's cautious eyes, his hesitant smile.

Will was a whole new level and she admired him. Ever since he'd explained his reasons for behaving like the world's rudest person, no matter how dedicated she was to Jem and her engagement – and she couldn't go back on her promise – she longed for Will's gentle, but rough touch – if there ever was such a thing. The way he didn't hold back; the way he smelled and tasted and made her feel like she wasn't a fragile piece of china about to break. She could lose herself in his presence and that was just what she did.

Tessa grabbed his hand and pulled him towards her and planted her lips on his like something in them were drawn together by magnets. His lips tasted of rum and something else, sweet. His smell was intoxicating and she heard more than felt herself sigh while enjoying his kisses. He lightly touched her face, gripping her chin and then trailing his fingers down her neck and pulling her closer to him. She didn't think she could get any closer.

When they finally broke apart, both as breathless as each other, she reached up and stroked her fingers down the small part of his chest that showed above the buttons. She bit her lip; smiling.

He grinned, and started to undo his button down shirt, moving step by step closer to her, each step making her go back, back across to the wall beside the door where she ended up pressed against, giggling with his closeness.

"Tessa," he said, his voice taking on a deep undertone and seemed to vibrate throughout the room. Her eyes fluttered as he leant closer to her, his lips lightly caressing hers. "Tessa, I love you," he whispered slowly in her ear before his kisses ran down her neck. She arched her neck, giving him better access, and then he was ripping off the front of her nightdress. She squealed suddenly, surprised at the suddenness and then pulled him to her so she could taste him again.

When his shirt was off, she trailed her fingers down his well-toned stomach and admired his scars for a few seconds before he grabbed her under the legs and carried her to the bed.

He rested down over her, their bodies barely touching; she arched her back up, wanting more of him. Will's fingers tickled her skin as he lightly brushed over the swell of her breasts and she gasped out. The returning smile was breathtaking and she leaned up to touch her lips to his, he deepened the kiss. Small whimpers of pleasure escaped her mouth as he continued to touch her in places she'd never been touched before; before resting on the curve of her back. He had somehow shrugged his trousers off and she felt something press against her leg causing her to grin against his lips.

"You like?" he whispered huskily when they parted for a second.

"I do," she whispered back.

She brought his head down so he could kiss her neck, and she moaned louder.

A knock sounded rather loudly in her head, something so pounding that she at first thought this was the result of ecstasy.

"Tessa!"

"Miss Tessa!" came the voice again. "Miss, you must wake up!"

Tessa flailed her arms wildly, both surprised and confused at the sudden abruptness of her awakening and then embarrassed, flushing a crimson red when she recalled the rather sensual dream she'd just been having. She hoped it wasn't obvious on her face.

"Miss Tessa!" Sophie said, arms crossed and a deep line deep in between her eyes; her frown brought Tessa out of her unkemptly state and back to reality.

"Sophie, what is it? Is something wrong?"

Sophie's lips curved ever-so slightly at the corner, and Tessa couldn't have been sure, but she thought she saw a small smile. "Nothing wrong, Miss. Except that it's past midday and I've been called to check up on you; Charlotte was worried that you were ill."

Tessa's faced flushed again, but then she took a deep breath and managed to calm herself, sitting upright in bed and swinging her legs over to stand.

"I'm so sorry," she said, noticing the bright rays of sunshine through the gaps in the curtain. "I must have slept deeper than I thought."

"I would certainly assume so," Sophie said with a smirk, and Tessa bulked. "If you don't mind me saying, Miss, you look a little peachy. Are you sure you're not ill?"

Tessa felt her forehead and cheeks. "No, I am well, thank you. Why do you ask?"

Sophie half smiled, "Because when I knocked, I heard noises, and so I came in, and you were... making a lot of unladylike noises. I assumed you were hallucinating, since you called me Will."

"Oh, OH," Tessa gasped, a hand over her mouth. "Oh, dear," she said again. "I am so sorry,"

Sophie nodded, biting her lip. "Apology accepted. But, if I could give you a piece of advice? Discretion is the best policy when in that situation."

Tessa nodded fast, understanding perfectly. What if it had been someone other than Sophie who had walked in, thinking she was in distress and found out... that she was dreaming something less than appropriate?

"Never the less, you are needed in the dining room for wedding preparations, Miss."

Tessa yawned and rubbed her face of sleep. Suddenly the realisation dawned on her.

"Only a week to go," she quietly said to herself, but it appeared Sophie had heard her. She stared down at her bare feet, still sat on the bed.

"Indeed," agreed Sophie. "So you should get dressed and then come with me."

It appeared she had fallen asleep after the nightmare earlier that morning. She dressed and washed hastily, hoping beyond hope that she could avoid Will and possibly even Jem today. As soon as she stepped into the dining room, her hopes were void.

**Will**

He had not seen high nor hair of Tessa in the past week since their incident. He had entrusted in Sophie not to divulge the scene to anyone, and as no one else had confronted him, he guessed she had come through. Maybe not for him, he mused, but for Tessa. Yes Tessa could hold her own, but it had been him that had pressured her somewhat. He didn't want to. He loved her so much though, that it was hard not to go crazy around her. Will had taken the days since to think clearly, to calm himself. Unfortunately, his calm state didn't last that long, for as soon as the doors opened to the dining room where he was currently sat at the long table with Henry, Charlotte, Jessamine and his sister, Cecily, parchment scattered with wedding details, he became alert when Tessa appeared, sitting opposite him at the table.

Charlotte's head popped up, "Oh good, you're here," she said as soon as she looked up from the designs long enough to notice Tessa.

"Sorry I'm late," Tessa replied with a yawn, "I've been having trouble sleeping."

"Still no change?" Charlotte meant Jem. His condition didn't appear to be getting any better – or as much as it could, given his situation.

"Not that I can tell. He keeps saying he feels better, but his temperature is climbing."

Will felt a hollow ache deep in his chest when he thought of how he'd cope without Jem. The fact was he wouldn't. Couldn't.

He cleared his throat, thinking how best to say what he wanted to say.

"Have you thought about postponing the wedding?" A surreal round of gasps echoed off the stone walls, several faces turning to him. "I'm not saying she should," he clarified. "Just that if Jem gets any worse, it wouldn't seem appropriate to be celebrating something so sacred as a wedding, don't you agree?"

"William, how can you suggest such a thing?" Jessamine's high pitch horror made him bulk in surprise. She sat at the other end of the table, glaring at him with a mix of shock and... was that amusement?

"I was merely suggesting," he said, resting his elbow on the table, head in his hands.

"No," said Tessa, speaking for the first time since entering. "I will marry Jem next week. Nothing can stop that," She didn't look at him, but he swore that those words were directed at him specifically.

"Very well," sighed Will, signalling that they should continue on their task.

"Has the minister been scheduled?" Tessa asked Charlotte.

"Ah," Charlotte put a finger to her lips, thinking. "That's an issue. Since because this isn't your typical Shadowhunter wedding, the traditional service is going to be a little tricky,"

"How is that?"

"Yes, Charlotte, how would it be tricky? Surely they can just be married like mundanes?" asked Jessamine.

"But that's an insult to Jem, surely?" interrupted Will. "He is, after all, a Shadowhunter."

"Will, please keep your opinions to yourself." Jessamine snapped.

He put his arms up in a backing off gesture. "Fine." He stood, passing his gaze over everyone with disdain. "I'll be at the pond killing ducks, if anyone wants an intelligent conversation." He started towards the door, but Tessa caught the back of his jacket.

"But you're the best man. We need you," She caught his expression and then corrected herself. "We need your guidance, I mean."

"I've already attempted to give my view point, and it seems it's not wanted. So as I said, I'll go elsewhere." He narrowed his gaze at her, and then flicked his eyes to her hand still gripping his jacket. She let go instantly and with a nod at the room, he turned and left through the open door.

He didn't go outside like he said he would; Will didn't feel in the mood to face the chilly winds of London right that moment. Instead he diverted his path and went to see how Jem was doing.

When he got to his _parabatai's_ bedroom, he opened the door and froze. Jem was out of bed, face flushed and hands shaking as he busied himself with dressing in his usual white button down and black trousers.

"James, what are you doing out of bed?" insisted Will, taking a step inside. Jem looked up and smiled as though he wasn't sweating buckets and looking like death.

"Good afternoon to you too, Will. What a warm welcome." His curled grin made Will wonder if his friend had taken too many drugs. He moved over to the window and opened it slightly, letting in a cool breeze.

"You shouldn't be up, you know that. You're still ill."

Jem chuckled darkly, coughing in between breaths. "You of all people should know that I'm not going to get any better. So I may as well make the most of my days left, mightn't I?"

"Well yes, but-"

Jem came over to Will and reached out for his hand; he held tightly, holding the palm up to his chest. "So long as my heart beats, I will always be grateful for your friendship, Will. Please never forget that."

"Yes, but," Will didn't see how he could convince his best friend to rest. He seemed determined to be active, and that scared him. "You're not thinking of leaving the Institute are you? It's minus degrees out there!"

Jem let go of Will's hand and sat on the edge of the bed; he ran a noticeably shaky hand through the striking silver of his hair, sending it spiking in unnatural angles.

"I have to get out," he said calmly and slowly. "I _need _to get out."

"You _need _to rest," corrected Will, sitting down next to his friend. "You need to be one hundred percent better for next week," He couldn't hide all the disappointment out of his voice.

"My wedding," Jem said softly, staring ahead at the door of his closet.

"Yes, and you can't let Tessa see you up and about, especially looking the way you do. She'll be mortified!"

Jem turned his head and half smiled. "Are you trying to distract me from something?"

Will shook his head. "No, I just care about you."

"And so you do. It seems too much. I tell you, Will, I can't stay clogged up in this hole any longer. It's doing me more wore than good, I fear."

"Maybe I should call Magnus," Will said more to himself than for his friends benefit.

The intense glare from Jem sent Will's shivers back up again. "No. Do not get him involved. No one can help me." His eyes snapped to the door and back to Will. "Now, I need to prepare for my walk. Will you come back later?" Will sighed, resigned, and nodded.

He left the room feeling more deflated and worried than he had before his visit.

**A shout out to ShadowhuntingNephilim123 for beta'ing :) **


	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry it's been a while since the last update. I had a slight issue with my laptop. Any-who... I hope you enjoy this chapter. I have a problem when it comes to making chapters long, so please forgive me. As always, read, review and well.. I love each and every one of you who does review, and it means the world to me that you like this story so much. **

**xx**

**p.s. as always I don't own any characters. and... TEAM WILL... (also... team drunk Will... cos we all like a drunk character once in a while :P )**

**Chapter Nine**

**Will**

"Will, that's enough!" Jem was shouting at Will with fierce velocity. It was Jem's bachelor party. Will wasn't sure if you could call it a party with only himself and his parabatai out at the local pub. Jem wasn't much of a drinker, but that didn't stop the young, enthusiastic and seriously troubled Will Herondale.

Will made a toast, ignoring his best friends insistence that he stop drinking and stood up at their two person table; a little wobbly on the feet but still in one piece.

"No, no, no," he said with a determined look on his face. It had been his idea to go out for the evening; to celebrate the rest of Jem's' life – or as long as he would live, given his circumstances – with the love of his life: Tessa.

He rolled his eyes with weariness and with a swallow of his gin, he looked down at his friend and smiled, but it appeared forced. Through stuttering mumbles he said, "I want to, to, I want to toast you... your marriage that will be very, very..." He paused, his body frozen. The drink in his hand sloshing over the edges by his shaky hands. His mind had come to the sudden, if not delayed, realisation of what he was trying hard not to think about. Somehow, the thought could never quite stay away.

Jem put a hand on Will's shoulder, worry etched all over his face. "What is it, Will? What's wrong?"

Will shook his head violently, but the jerk caused his hand to spill the rest of his drink over him. He cursed loudly, and grabbed a handkerchief from his pocket

"All is well, my friend." He cheerfully chucked his cloth, now soggy, across the room; the cloth hit another patron, who turned to scowl in Wills direction.

"Will," His friend's face appeared close to Will's and he had to blink back a dizzy spell. "What has gotten into you? You have been acting strange ever since..."

"Since?" encouraged Will. Surely James hadn't noticed what he'd been trying desperately hard to conceal. If he had, he surely wouldn't be talking to him.

Jem shook his head, much the same way that Will had just done, and gave him a wan smile.

"I'm being silly. I just worry about you, that is all. I was so sure you were becoming a changed man; I had high hopes that now that you'd see I was happy, that you would be too. But now I wonder if that was simply an act for my sake." He lifted his own drink to his lips, took a sip, and laid the glass back down with a sorrowful look on his young face. Will was grateful that his friend had recovered enough, especially given how he was just the other day.

Will grinned crookedly. "I'm broken, am I? Ha. I have never felt so alive," With that he tossed back the rest of his drink and stood, gravity threatening to vanish. He headed towards the exit, vaguely away of Jem muttering as he followed him.

"Will! For heaven's sake, will you please stay still!" Jem was practically jogging to keep up to him. Giddiness overwhelmed Will; the fresh winter air whisking over his skin, through his overgrown frayed hair.

"What?" Will spun, half way down the street. "I'm sorry," he said, shaking his head. He cleared his throat. "I'm just feeling a little light headed. Besides," he waved his arms out around him, taking in the night. "It's a lovely night, don't you agree?" His eyes cast a dark shadow, despite the breezy smile that lingered on his lips.

Jem looked around, aware that they weren't completely alone. Passersby made curious glances their way. He put a hand on Will's arm, looking deep into his eyes, as though he could pass a message that way, but Will wasn't in his right mind.

"Can we go home, now?" Jem asked, pity filtering through the words like leaking acid. His eyes were pleading with Will's.

Will threw up his hands, giving up pretence. "Very well."

**Tessa**

"I cannot get over how fast the days have passed," said Jessamine in between sipping her tea. She held her teacup by the handle, her pinkie finger flicked up delicately.

Tessa nodded simply. "I know. It's certainly come quickly. I still have to pinch myself."

Charlotte sat quietly, looking down.

"Is something wrong, Charlotte?" asked Tessa, putting down her tea and shifting in her chair.

Tessa watched Charlotte begin to say something, eyes flitting from the table to the door. "Actually, I think I may need to excuse myself." She stood carefully, hesitating then leaving the room without a backwards glance.

"Well, that was strange," Tessa said to herself. Cecily, who was sitting beside Jessamine with a look of pure excitement on her young face said, "Maybe she's just having morning sickness."

Jessamine smiled, "It's the evening, Cecy."

Cecily shrugged, not wanting to argue the matter.

"Maybe she's simply not feeling well," interjected Tessa, "I mean, Shadowhunters can still get ill, can't they?" She instantly regretted her words as a flash of Jem, in bed, sweating and pale, made her chest feel heavy. It must have shown on her face because Jessamine pursed her lips a bit and said, "Yes, Shadowhunters can still catch the common cold, chicken pox and the like, but because of the kind of blood they have, they're less susceptible towards it, so it is quite rare."

Tessa noticed how Jessamine never considered herself a Shadowhunter. Charlotte would indeed be quite upset by this statement, she thought.

"Have you decided on a colour for your bridesmaids dress?" inquired Tessa to Jessamine who bulked as though she'd said something inappropriate.

"Oh, um, yes," she started. "But I thought that was your choice, not mine."

Tessa grimaced. "No, I left most of the decisions up to Charlotte. I can't say I've been in the right frame of mind for wedding designs."

Jessamine leaned forward, resting on an elbow on the table. "Oh, and why is that?" Her face seemed to light up, eager for information. Well, Tessa thought stubbornly, she wasn't getting anything out of her.

"Just a few headaches," she replied gently. Cecily continued to sit in relative silence, looking between the two girls with mild interest. Tessa knew she was Will's sister and probably felt left out since she'd not long arrived at the Institute. With the hopes of cheering the young girl up, Tessa faced Cecily and smiled. "How are you settling in? I suspect it's a little daunting for you, coming from..." The last words were unknown to Tessa as she stopped the sentence.

"Don't worry about it," Cecily assured her. "I suppose you could say it's daunting. My brother and I, we're very different people. It will take time to understand him." Her wilting smile was answer enough for the other two girls.

Jessamine grinned, her gaze falling on Tessa. "Have you and Will sorted out your, shall we say, differences?"

Something inside of Tessa came alive, despite the ache in her heart. Her head told her to keep topic on Will to a minimum, but somehow she couldn't stop the sudden blush that crept up on her.

"Will? I didn't know we had any differences to sort out." she replied breezily.

"Oh, come now. I've never known two people to bicker and then avoid each other so much. Well, besides myself and Will, but then, we have known each other longer."

"Jessie, I don't really think-" No matter how much Tessa shook her head and kept a stern look, Jessamine carried on.

"Nonsense. I have my theories, however," Her smile was cunning, and Tessa stood to leave before the other girl said something that might make this situation even more awkward.

"Sit down, Tessa!" ordered the other girl. "I'm not intending to cause offence, I merely asked how you and Will were getting on,"

"But that isn't what you were asking at all," complained Tessa. "You were implying that something more-"

Jessamine cleared her throat, casting wry looks to Cecily who didn't look as though she was paying much attention but Tessa was sure her ears were pricked to listen, since they were discussing her brother. "I apologise if my question appeared forward," explained Jessamine with false sincerity. "I just, I worry about him, and I know, from what I hear, that he has feelings for you. Whether they be deep or simply..." The girl paused, appearing lost in thought. Tessa took a deep breath, trying to clear her head of the haze that threatened to swarm her.

"I'm sorry, Jessie. I know you mean well, but I honestly cannot tell you what is going on between myself and Will." Tessa closed her eyes, breathing in and out to calm her rapid heartbeat. Just the mere mention of Will was enough to conjure up images of last nights dream. As if being worried about her fiancé wasn't bad enough, she couldn't afford to be having doubts about marrying Jem, too. She loved Jem. She did. "Will just drives me insane sometimes, that's all," she continued, eyes still closed, and almost forgetting she was speaking to other people. Forgetting she wasn't alone. Only herself and her words. "If he'd told me how he felt before Jem proposed, I-" She stopped herself, biting her lip. She crossed her arms over her stomach, as if trying to hold herself together. She wasn't going to cry. "I may have... considered. If he hadn't made me feel like my whole world was falling apart; if he hadn't been so hot and cold, and hurtful, I may have..." She suddenly opened her eyes, blinking back the tears that threatened to fall as her thoughts coalesced on her; she focused on Jessamine and Cecily who were staring at her in both shock and, in Jessamine's case, smug satisfaction. Tessa couldn't blame her. She'd clearly known more than Tessa wanted to let on.

"Tessa," soothed Jessamine, her expression turning sombre. "I had no idea, I," she stuttered her words with some emotion Tessa couldn't grasp. "Are you sure you want to go through with the wedding?"

Such a straightforward question could not have been more complicated, thought Tessa.

"Of course I do," she snapped, shocked at the other girl's assumptions. "I love Jem, too. I wouldn't have said yes if I didn't."

"But if you-" Tessa noticed the girl pause and look up; she assumed Jessamine was having trouble knowing what to say. Tessa laid a hand down on the table, oblivious to her surroundings.

"No, I will come to love Will merely as a friend, I know it," she admitted sadly. "I can't say it'll be easy, but-"

When both girls continued to stare over her head, ignoring her words, Tessa turned in her chair and felt the air escape her lungs. Will was standing at the open door; well, wobbling was more accurate.

She could have sworn the door had been closed before.

His expression was dark, eyes widened slightly with something she couldn't see, even though the dining room was as bright as it could ever be; witch light glowed from every surface and corner.

He wore a necktie and a dark coat with a crisp white shirt underneath. Rather neat for Will, Tessa realised. She supposed he'd been out drinking.

"You love me." he said. It didn't sound like a question; more like a statement. He blinked twice, mouth open to say more but instead he turned to leave, leaving the door open behind him. She turned back to Jessamine and Cecily.

"Why didn't you tell me he was standing there? Why didn't you tell me beforeI said those things?" Her tone was even, steady; flat. Any emotion she wanted to convey was completely gone. She couldn't fathom just how angry and betrayed she felt at that moment. She should have known Jessie would be up to her old tricks. And what was worse, Will had heard her say the one thing she couldn't admit to him; the one thing she'd been trying desperately to hide. Not for just her sake, but for Jem's too.

She ran from the room, holding her dress skirt in her grips to avoid tripping. She noticed Will's figure disappearing down the hallway and followed him.

"Will! Will, please wait. Will?" He turned at the last moment before a corner. They were alone in the corridor.

He stopped, balancing against the wall with an unsteady ease. He narrowed his eyes at her.

"What? What would you like me to say, Tessa?" He said bitterly. "That I'm sorry for causing you such distress, days before your wedding day? That I'm happy for you?"

"Yes, Will. That's exactly what I would like you to say." Her lips turned down slightly, realisation dawning on her. "But you won't, will you?"

His entire face changed into a grim smile, "Congratulations," he mocked. "You've finally learned to understand the great William Herondale. I hope you'll be very happy." With that, he turned again and marched his way down the corridor, intermittently leaning against the wall for balance.


	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry for the long delay, folks. Have been having a bit of a mental block on what to put. But hopefully this chapter is okay enough for you. I've been told to add more angst... and angst I will *try* to give. okay? okay. So please, as always, review if you can. Enjoy!**

**Also, thanks for all the lovely reviews. And thanks to my beta ShadowhuntingNephilim123 for showing me the *literal* errors of my ways :)**

**Chapter ten**

**Will**

Will lifted his head up lazily as someone, he couldn't see who, opened his curtains to let in too bright light almost blind him. He let his head fall back on the bed, groaning loudly.

"Sophie," he mumbled from his pillow. "Blasted woman, what are you doing? It's..." he rolled over and checked his clock on the bed side table. "It's midday." He should have been alarmed that he'd slept so late, but he didn't much care.

"William," said a deep voice.

When Will looked over to the figure standing by the window, who was, in turn, staring unhappily down at Will, he had to clear his eyes of the haze and blinked a few times.

"You're not Sophie."

"No, Will. I am _not_ Sophie. I am your best friend, your _parabatai_. Now, for the love of the angel, will you please, please, talk to me?" Jem sat on the end of the bed, looking truly worried and Will had to swallow back guilt and, if he was honest, nausea. He had clearly drunk too much the night before. "I have two days until my wedding, my one chance at ending my life happily, and you're dallying about ruining your life. Will, you have the whole life ahead of you, please make it longer than mine."

Will's eyes widened in horror at the words his best friend was saying, trying to bite back protests, as he saw Jem purse his lips much like the way Tessa does when she's annoyed. He fell back on the pillow and groaned again. _Tessa._

Will felt his forehead; his head was killing him and he was sweating. The sunlight coming through the window was almost too much for him. He shuffled himself to lean over the edge of the bed, ignoring the unimpressed looks from Jem, and noticed a bucket beside the bed.

"I thought you might need it," Jem mused. "It's a good thing I'm such a considerate friend."

Will wasn't completely oblivious to the sarcasm in the tone, but chose to ignore that also. With a massive heave of his chest, and an ache in his head, he threw up in the bucket. Feeling completely drained and not up to whatever Jem had in store for him, he curled up under his covers, blocking out the world.

"If you're going to be a child, then no wonder no one treats you with respect." commented Jem, still not moving. Even under covers, Will could sense the burning gaze of his friend's eyes.

"James, please. Can't you see I'm suffering?"

"You could just give yourself an _iratze_, but that would be cheating, correct? Maybe you'd feel better staying in bed all day."

Will lifted away the covers from his head and stared at his friend. "I would very much love that."

With a wicked grin, his friend grabbed the covers from Will's grip and dragged them completely off his body. When Will shrieked, Jem said, "I can't let you stay in and mope. You have to come out and live the day just like the rest of us. Besides, I need to discuss wedding vows."

With a raise of an eyebrow Will said, "You haven't written them yet?"

"No, because I was hoping you would help me."

Will shook his head. "You don't need my help, James. You're perfectly capable of writing your own vows. I'd only ruin it for you."

"Nonsense," his friend said with a sheepish grin. "You're much better at words than I am. All that poetry you read must come in useful at some point,"

"I really don't think that is such a good idea," said Will. Jem stood and walked over to the window. As he looked out, Will could just about see his friend's reflection and wondered when he'd grown up so fast. They weren't even eighteen yet, and still, there was something about Jem that appeared almost wise and secure. Maybe it was getting engaged that had changed him, or the prospect of happiness? Will wondered if he had changed, himself.

"I can't afford to have my wedding day let down by words I don't mean, which is what would happen if I asked someone else to help." said Jem, still staring out of the window. "I know you care for Tessa," Will almost felt sick and hoped his friend couldn't see the guilt in his expression in the window reflection. Jem turned around. "I'm not entirely blind," The half smile was unnerving for Will; he wondered what his friend was going to say next. "I only think it's right that someone who cares for Tessa almost as much as I do, helps me write the words that will bond us completely."

With a sudden lurch, Will bent over the side and vomited into the bucket again.

"I'm so sorry," he groaned. "I think I may have alcohol poisoning."

"No need to apologise, Will. I'm not the one roaming in pain from too much alcohol. I did warn you to slow it down, but... you never listen." Jem's disappointed expression was enough to shatter glass. "Just be glad it's me waking you up and not, I don't know, Charlotte or indeed, Sophie. Doubtless anyone but myself would be this patient with your less than charming state."

Will curled his lips into a wan smile, "Indeed. Now, if you would excuse me, I need to lie here in agony until this nausea passes."

"Would you like me to give you an _iratze_? I'm not sure if it will cure the nausea, but it'll certainly help the pain."

Hesitantly, Will nodded. Not that he didn't want to feel better, but he'd rather stay in bed and mope than face what he'd ruined last night.

Jem gestured for Will to give him his arm. Grabbing his stele from his pocket, Jem lightly traced a rune of calming the skin below his wrist bone.

"There," he said, seeming satisfied with his artwork. "That's better. Good as new."

Will nodded weakly.

"Do you need help getting dressed?"

Will threw a pillow at his friend. "I'm not a complete invalid, James."

Jem laughed, eyes sparkling. "I was just making sure. Of course, if you don't feel any better later on, we should probably have you checked over with a doctor."

"Doctor? HA!" Will exclaimed. He shuffled off the bed and put his feet to the floor. In just a thin shirt and trousers, he shivered. With a shaky start, he managed to stand up but then the ground seemed to spin and turn upside down, causing him to flop back on the bed with a thud.

James' sighed and went over to help Will. "What are we going to do with you?"

**Tessa**

"Seems like a nice day out, Miss," commented Sophie as she helped Tessa into her dark purple dress.

Tessa nodded mildly, casting a glance over at the window and noting that it was sunny for a change. She didn't really feel like talking much today.

Sophie continued to tied up the dress silently while Tessa looked down at her hands with passing interest. Her head felt foggy and to concentrate on anything more than the colour of her nails was proving difficult.

"Is everything alright, Miss Tessa? You're awfully quiet this morning."

Tessa smiled. "I'm just a little tired," she said. "I think the pressure of the wedding is getting to me."

When the dress was fitted perfectly, Tessa turned around to notice Sophie was frowning.

"You're not having second thoughts, are you Miss?"

Tessa shook her head. "Oh, no." Well, she thought, not exactly. "Like I said, I must just be tired."

Someone rapped on the door of her room; Sophie disappeared to answer. "Hello, Sophie,"

Tessa turned around and saw Jem hovering in the doorway. His eyes seemed to widen when he saw her. "You look lovely today."

A blush crept up on her cheeks at his compliment. She ducked her head down, fiddling with a lace at the front of her dress. It was a pale yellow; Tessa had been clothes shopping the other day and her order had arrived that morning.

Jem walked over to her, hands out to stroke her cheek. His fingers caressed her neck and then he was pulling her towards her, his lips touching hers with severity. Not as harsh as Wills, but there was a certain desperation about it. Tessa found her heart flutter with nerves but her lips moved perfectly in sync with his, her arms reaching up to twine around his neck. A soft cough from Sophie made Tessa jump and back away awkwardly, blushing intensely.

"I'm sorry," she whispered to Jem. "I must get ready. I'm supposed to be choosing flowers today."

He stroked her cheek gently, ignoring the look from Sophie behind him.

"Be safe."

She smiled. "Aren't I always?"

Jem left the room and Sophie followed soon after. Tessa let out the breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding. How could she be so stupid? He would find out her true feelings soon, wouldn't he? And then it would break him.

Her dreams had not stopped. Each night Tessa dreamt that Will came into her room and seduced her.

Were these premonitions?

Someone knocked on the door but before she could move to answer, the handle turned and Will entered abruptly. He looked ill; not Jem ill, but just... not his usual self. Tessa straightened and felt her defences go up like a shield. How could he just walk in her room with the illusion she actually wanted him there?

He held out warning hands before she could say anything. His expression full of despair and heartache. She wondered if her face said the same thing, because she sure felt the same.

"Please, Tessa. I need you to listen." He didn't move from the now closed door; Tessa stayed sitting, staring up at him with mixture of confusion and annoyance. "I need you to know how utterly sorry I am for how I behaved last night. It was not in my nature to be so callous, yet-"

"Yet you somehow managed to be?" she questioned him rhetorically. "Of course, that is your skill, isn't it? Always managing to hurt the ones around you without trying. I thought you felt the same way," She bowed her head, feeling a weight of some kind in her heart taking place.

"Believe me, I was not in my right mind when I said those things. I can't say that in some way I don't feel the same way, but the way in which I divulged my true nature, was not ideal. I love you, Tessa. I Always have, and always will, but I will never try to hurt you or James just to please myself. If marrying Jem is what you wish then I shall stand by and support it. It may break my heart, but that's nothing less than what I truly deserve."

Silence passed for what felt to Tessa like decades. Nobody spoke, only their breathing was enough to tell her they were alive. Will's eyes were shut; maybe he was hoping he could take it all back. God knew Tessa wished she could rewind time.

"William," she said softly into the space between them. Tessa didn't dare move, she just let the words in which he had said so meaningfully sink in. "I," she herself had to close her eyes, to block out the tears that were threatening over spill. "I don't know what to say." she said finally. It was the truth. If there were words for how she felt, she would surely be able to say them. Tessa opened her eyes.

"You do not need to say anything."

The need to hold his hands was so strong she had to go to him. His eyes were still closed; she reached out and twined her fingers with his and lifted his hand to rest where her heart would be.

"You need only be here." She said as quiet as air. The room was darkening suddenly, casting an eerie shadow over his face. "I can't ever say I don't love Jem, but please know that you will always have a special place in my heart." She went on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. He leant in towards her but she pulled away and without saying goodbye, reached for the door handle and left.

**Will**

From the sunny start that day, the skies turned to a dreary grey and Will felt it matched his mood. His hangover had faded since the morning but that didn't stop the deep ache in his chest. Tessa was getting married in twenty-four hours. Twenty-four hours. From then on he'd have to make sure he didn't look at her the way he longed to look at her; touch her the way he shouldn't touch her; kiss her the way he... His thoughts drifted. He walked through the streets of Whitechapel, needing fresh air. He wondered if he would end up at Magnus's but then decided that probably wasn't wise. It wasn't fair to dump all his problems on other people.

He was just passing a jewellery shop when two figures stepped out in front of him. They wore dark cloaks covering their faces down to their ankles. Will attempted to bypass them but they stepped in his way.

"Excuse me," he said as politely as he could muster. When he tried to side-step them again, he almost knocked them over in his trial. "If you wouldn't mind."

The two figures suddenly raised their heads, the hoods falling back to reveal metal. Will gasped, a mixture of curse words escaping his mouth; his hands finding his stele in his pocket before the same ugly contraptions that were the clockwork monsters that he thought had all been destroyed, tried to grab him.

The arms of the robots reached out for Will but, because of his always being prepared, grabbed a dagger and thrust it into the metallic chest of the monster. Black oil oozed out all over Wills hands and he cursed loudly.

He was only half a mile away from the Institute, he thought. He could surely run back and tell-

Will remembered. If he ran back, the clockwork monsters would surely come after him.

He managed to kick out at the second monster that attempted to grab his jacket and it stumbled. He jabbed his second dagger that he had in the other pocket and slashed across the face. Black oil burst out of its mouth. They toppled to the ground with loud thumps and Will had to glance around his surroundings in case any mundanes noticed. But as usual, they didn't. It wasn't particularly busy where he stood, anyway.

Will stumbled up the steps to the institute; their carriage sitting patiently out in the courtyard. Jem stood on the top step. When he saw Will come through the gate, he became alert.

"Will," said Jem with concern, coming down to help as he saw Will fall. "What- What happened?"

Will had managed only to slow down the clockwork monsters; but they had also managed a few jabs with weapons that appeared from their wrists. He walked away with bloody wounds in his legs and arms. Weak and in need of a seriously drink, Jem helped his friend inside.

When Will was settled into his bed; Sophie was being nice for a change and fetching pails of water and cloths to clean him up. His clothes were now ruined, which he thought was a shame because they were his favourite.

"What on earth happened?" questioned Charlotte, making Will's head hurt from the intense volume.

"Two words: Clockwork and Mortmain." His lips curved up with annoyance. They'd all thought they'd managed to defeat Mortmain and his clockwork army, but obviously not. Will wiped a cloth over his forehead. He was suddenly feeling hot and tired.

Charlotte stood in the corner of his bedroom with a look so harassed you'd think it was her that had been attacked.

"I really just need to recover," he said with a yawn. "I'm still tired from last night."

That was true, but not the whole of it.

"We'll get you new clothes," said Charlotte, just as Henry came to stand behind her. They crowded by the doorway; Will felt claustrophobic all of a sudden. "We can't have you looking so awful for the wedding."

Of course, he thought dryly. The wedding.

**End Note: I fail at action scenes, so please excuse the lack of description. I just felt there should be SOME kind of problem instead of just love and angst. I can't wait until the wedding though. Only a couple more chapters to go, and damn.. have i got a treat for you. (ok i will stop bigging myself up because it'll probably epically fail otherwise) xD**


	11. Chapter 11

**So here we are... sort of. I'm so pleased with the success of this fan-fiction and I wish I could extend it on forever and ever. I love you all sooo freaking much for reviewing, and reading this and... well, just being so nice about it. I know it's not perfect. But I still appreciate all your kind words :)**

**Enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: Even though I only put at first chapter, I gotta remind you: I don't own any of these characters. They all belong to Cassandra Clare :)**

**Also wanna thank Pale Red Queen for beta'ing this for me. You're a star!**

**As always, if anyone notices mistakes, point them out and I'll rectify them asap :)**

**Chapter Eleven**

**Tessa**

Tessa sat on her bed crying. Crying. Of all the things she could be doing on her wedding day; the most special day of her life.

What she was crying about, Tessa couldn't really say. Were they happy tears? That she couldn't say either. One thing was for certain: this was going to be an exceptional day.

Sophie was due to help fit the wedding dress before they went en route to a fancy little manor in which Magnus had let them use for the wedding. It was awfully kind of him to do so, Tessa realised. If, she thought, he knew about Will's...problem, she suspected he might have a few judgemental feelings towards her. God only knew she felt dreadful about how things have been. Not only confused about her feelings, but also betraying Jem behind his back, while he was ill of all times. She should have been there for him; by his side at every moment.

After yesterday's drama with Will and him apologising for his disastrous evening before, Tessa had left him and wished with every bone in her body that she hadn't. It was unnerving how she couldn't control herself around him. If Jem ever found out...

No, she couldn't think about that. She had a wedding to attend. Tessa felt almost as bad about the fact she hadn't actually organised anything. In the end everything had, been left to Charlotte, and Tessa felt awful about that.

The sun was beginning to shine through the tiny window in her chamber and she felt herself smile, her lips curving just enough. If anyone was to walk in right then, they'd see her happy.

Inside, she felt like a jigsaw puzzle.

The door opened at that thought and Sophie entered, all smiles and enthusiasm. Tessa's smile faltered as she took in the dress Sophie held by the hook.

"It's beautiful, isn't it Miss?" said the girl with the scar on the side of her face, which was not completely hiding her beauty. No matter what Sophie thought of herself, she was beautiful. Any man should be proud to have her in his arms.

"Yes," said Tessa, a little too half-heartedly. "It is." She cast one more look out the window and then stood to prepare herself. The time was a quarter past the 11th hour and the wedding was scheduled for two o'clock. That gave Tessa plenty of time to sort out her dress, and hair, as well as to be mentally prepared.

With all of her might, Tessa aimed to appear to be in a good mood. It wasn't that she was glum. She just wasn't as excited as she'd once thought she'd be on a special day like today.

"Miss Tessa," said Sophie, glancing at her with a wary, almost worried expression. "I hope you're not having second thoughts. It would be unwise,"

That would be an understatement, Tessa thought wryly.

"No, Sophie. I am very much looking forward for today." Tessa answered with as much enthusiasm as she could muster.

"And this behaviour has nothing to do with what happened the other week with Master Will?" added Sophie.

Tessa coughed as she tried to control her reaction.

"Oh, no. Certainly not." That, however, was not completely true. He was one reason for her uncertain mood.

Sophie grinned, "Very well." Traditionally Shadowhunters didn't wear white for a wedding. That was the colour for mourning; but since Tessa wasn't Shadowhunter, nor was she technically human, it didn't actually matter. Although, the human side of her decided she was going to celebrate her wedding day the proper human way. Much to other's complaints. Jem was just happy to marry her, she thought.

Sophie lifted the dress over Tessa's head. This sentence doesn't really flow. Her hands evening out the felt the low bodice, running her fingers over her hourglass form. Fitted sleeves coated her arms. There was also a full court train ending the design with such intricacies. Tessa felt herself smiling. This was really happening. She was going to marry.

Then another realisation; she really hadn't known Jem that long, not by comparison. There were so many things they didn't know about each other. She closed her eyes briefly, clearing her mind as best as she could. She would not start worrying now.

**Will**

A sour taste was making its way up his throat as he thought about how he would feel after James and Tessa had said their vows. So instead, he chose to think only on the present moment. He hadn't seen any of the girls in the Institute since the night before when he was being helped with new clothes and cleaning up from his sudden attack by clockwork monsters. The clockwork army wasn't completely over with, he realised.

Will now stood in James bedroom, helping his _parabatai _with his suit. He smiled as he straightened the bow tie on his friend's tux and then brushed lint off the jacket. Will could positively say James looked smart. His metallic silver hair was glowing against the black of his suit.

"Do you think I look presentable?" Jem said, his voice shaking ever so slightly. He held his walking stick absentmindedly. "Do you think I'll pass for a groom?"

Will swallowed the lump in his throat. The lump that told him he was going to break down any moment if he didn't get a hold of himself and act like the best man that he was. He smiled at Jem and patted his shoulder.

"You look dashing."

Jem smirked. "Now, now. Don't tell me you're going all gushing on me, Will?" His tone was mocking, but Will couldn't help frowning a little. "You have your suit ready?"

"Of course," Will winked.

"It was very kind of Magnus to let us use his manor. I'm actually surprised he doesn't live there now."

"I presume he finds it too far out in the country."

Jem nodded, his lips thinned out in a half smile. "Yes, I guess so."

Will noticed his friend was shaking when he reached up to nervously adjust his bow tie, even though it didn't need fixing.

"You're going to be perfect," muttered Will, only a little embarrassed about sounding so personal. "Just remember to get through the vows." It almost killed him to say those words.

Jem checked his watch and gasped. "Oh my goodness, it's nearly time."

'You've taken your medicine?" Will asked. Jem nodded. "Then let us go to the carriage. I'm sure Henry is already waiting for us."

They left Jem's bedroom and went down the hall to the stairs which would take them to the entry way, out into the wintry air where Cyril was waiting by the carriage. Henry stood leaning against one of the horses, fussing with his cuffs.

He moved towards Jem when they got closer.

"Oh my, don't you look handsome."

"Thank you, Henry," Jem replied stiffly. He was more nervous than Will expected him to be. Then again he himself felt about to pass out at any moment.

They hoisted themselves into the carriage and with directions to Cyril, they left for High House Manor in Hampstead. It wasn't as near as they'd liked, but it would do.

**Tessa**

They arrived at the manor in which Magnus was standing outside of. It was a grand two-storey brick building with a golden arch doorway. Wide French windows fronted Tessa and she had to take a deep breath as she became overwhelmed with awe. It was beautiful.

"Oh Magnus," she gushed, remembering to lift her dress train so she didn't trip on the stone walkway. Intricate gardens sat in circles either side of her as she walked closer to Magnus.

"It's magnificent!" Her breath caught in her throat as suddenly the nerves caught up with her.

Magnus laid a gentle, reassuring hand on hers and she tried to become the brave women she should be. Instead, her insides were curdling.

"My dearest Tessa, you look ravishing."

Tessa felt heat rise up into her cheeks. So much so, she had to look away. "Thank you," she said quietly.

He looped his arm in her's and with Charlotte, Jessamine and Cecily – with the surprise added bonus of Sophie – behind them, he led her into the over looming manor to wait for her groom. Jem.

Inside was just as amazing to look at. The walls were lined with portraits of scenery from...

"Eastern Europe," said Magnus, noticing her eyes roaming the painting she passed on her way to the rooms at the back of the manor. "I bought them off a tradesman for a very reasonable price. I was quite pleased."

"I'm sure you were."

He led Tessa across the huge marble floored room. Chairs sat either side of the aisle she would eventually walk down in less than an hour. She was most nervous. She had to hold her hands steady, clutching at her sides to hide the shaking.

They stopped inside a small drawing room situated at the back of the wedding room, shut off from prying eyes.

There was just about enough room for all five of them to fit in. A four-person table sat in the centre, paintings lining the walls around them. Tessa was beginning to thing she was in a museum.

"Oh my," gushed Charlotte, glancing around. "You really do like your art."

Magnus appeared to be blushing. "I do." He bent down to Tessa's level after she took a seat.

Sophie came up behind Tessa and started brushing her shoulders. Obviously Tessa wasn't the only one nervous. She looked beautiful in her subtle yellow dress. Her hair was set in a bob with stranded curls around her face, flattering her features. She wore her scar like a medal.

Jessamine was dressed similarly but her dress, with many frills and ribbons, was a delicate ocean blue.

Charlotte wore a dress much the same way, except hers had decidedly less ribbons. The dress made her look older in so many ways.

"Shh," reported Magnus from the doorway, peering out to see when Jem would arrives. He glanced back at Tessa and smiled. "It's time."


	12. Chapter 12

**So here it is. The moment you have all been waiting for. Well, some of you have. I think. Thanks to all the support over the past 11 chapters. I really do appreciate it. **

**Enjoy xx**

Chapter 12

**Tessa**

"Do you, Theresa Gray, take James Carstairs to be your lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live?"

Those words barely penetrated through Tessa's mind. Magnus, their chosen magister and beloved warlock friend, stared down at her with anticipation. All around her, people looked up to the dais where she currently stood opposite Jem. He wore a delightful black and white suit, with a delicate bow tie just below his Adam's apple. His silver hair was most definitely in contrast to his black blazer. But his smile... now _that was something she would never get used to. It wasn't crooked like Will's usually was; Jem's smile was warm and kind, inviting, but not forceful. She held his hand in her own and swallowed back the lump of sudden fear that threatened to overwhelm her._

Tessa glanced over to Will, almost by accident. Her eyes swept over his features and then back to Jem before Will caught her looking at him.

Back in the moment, she suddenly remembered the question she was being asked.

"I do." she said, looking up at Magnus whose eyes were sparkling with emotion. He cast a look over to the audience behind her and then cleared his throat. Tessa smiled lovingly at Jem.

"And do you," Magnus turned to Jem. "James Carstairs, take Theresa Gray to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, for as long as you both should live?"

Tessa couldn't help notice the slight hesitation in Jem's expression when he himself processed those words. "In sickness," was the worst to hear. Because they all knew, most certainly Jem, that he was ill. And that thought alone was enough to shake them all up.

Jem smiled at Tessa and squeezed her hand once to reassure her, and she thought, that he still wanted this.

He turned to Magnus and grinned, seeming much more relaxed and sure of himself. "I do."

Magnus grinned back and with a raise of his arms, gesturing to everyone in the room, he said in a loud voice, "Then in the name of the Angel, I now pronounce you hus-"

Tessa's eyes shot to the back of the hall as the manor house doors crashed open. Will alertly jumped out of his seat and had his stele out of his pocket before the situation even registered in her mind.

Dozens of figures marched into the wedding room. _Clockwork army._

Tessa stood stock still as all around her chaos blossomed into full frantic hell. She couldn't believe what was happening.

It was only when someone – she thought it was Magnus but she couldn't be sure in all this haze – started to drag her away from the growing battle, that she blinked and rearranged her thoughts. She wiped at her face and her hands came away wet with tears.

Magnus put a hand on her shoulder once they were safe. Safe was a relative term. She noticed they were in a side room with a delightful coffee table and a window facing the gardens outside.

"Listen, Tessa, will you be okay?"

Shaking her had manically, she focused on Magnus's face. "Why- W-w-what's happening?" To say she was in shock would be an understatement. His eyes were sympathetic as he tried to calm her but nothing was getting through to her.

"It seems we've got some unwanted company."

Before Tessa could say so much as protest - that this could not possibly be happening on her one perfect day - Magnus had left her standing open-mouthed.

**Will:**

It was painful enough to attend the wedding, but watching Tessa and Jem exchange wedding vows were nearly unbearable. Just when the worst was about to come, chaos suddenly ensued. Will instinctively reached for his stele and leapt to his feet in full alert. Looking around, he saw that Charlotte, Henry, and majority of the other Shadowhunters had followed the same stance as him. He vaguely wondered where Tessa was, but decided now was not the time. Now was the time to fight. He would deal with the consequences later. Shaking his head of distracting thoughts, he charged for the clockwork creatures coming towards him.

The creatures came bursting out of everywhere: through the doors, the windows, even busting down the walls. It was a flood of metal against flesh. Will drew out a blade and immediately named the blade, all the while running towards the automatons.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Magnus's blue haloed hands sparking against metal. Then his attention snapped to Charlotte and Henry in the distance battling a massive clockwork creature. Noticing that they were in need for assistance, he ran towards them, blade ready in his hand. Suddenly, an automaton stepped in his way. Will quickly slashed his way through the great metal body and continued to run toward Charlotte and Henry, without looking back at what he had just did.

Will almost reached the two when a shriek abruptly disrupted the pandemonium. He spun around, glancing around for the source of the noise and saw Jessamine lying spread eagle on the floor, blood pooling around her head and torso. Next to her was her newly reformed parasol, now slashed to threads. He stared in disbelief and horror at Jessamine, now a deathly white colour, her gold dress splattered with red. She desperately needed an _iratze_, but Will knew it was too late; he was used to farewells now, so he turned around to help Charlotte and Henry, who seemed unhindered by the disruption.

Will began drawing more blades from his coat and slashed at the creature in multiple areas. He was able to climb up the back and position himself on top of the head, as Charlotte and Henry worked on the bottom half of the creature's body. With one precise move, Will stabbed the area at the center of the nape of its neck, and the creature began to crumble, crinkling towards the floor. Will deftly jumped off of it, landing perfectly on his feet unscathed. He looked around the wreckage of the manor; the fighting had completely subdued, but that was not the worst. Chairs were broken, bits of glass were strewn everywhere, and blood splattered here and there. Bodies lying helplessly everywhere. He scanned the room to see if he could recognize anyone. Jessamine lay still where she had been before. Gabriel was in a corner with Gideon huddled next to him, and Will felt a twang of sadness run through him. He was almost done searching the room when he saw one figure out in the distance by the pew with a shock of silver hair… _Jem_.

Heart racing fast, Will ran towards his _parabatai_. Sweat broke out around his face and he could see his hands visibly shaking. After what seemed like an eternity, Will reached Jem. Jem's face, hands, and arms were covered in lacerations, and his chest was cut open and bleeding openly. Jem was still breathing, but it was ragged and shallow.

"Will…" Jem managed to croak through rasping breaths, as Will grasped hishand in his.

"Shh," Will answered soothingly, "hush now. Save your strength."

"Like I have any strength left," Jem smiled meekly, giving a slight laugh but choked a little on blood.

"Your hands are growing cold," Will whispered worriedly, staring down at their entwined fingers and praying to the Angel that he would survive. Even if it was a lost cause, he would never give up. "Jem, please don't leave me." Will felt stupid for saying this, but it was the most he could choke out. He could not bear to think what would happen in a world without Jem. He always thought that his brother would die of his illness, not in a fight. Jem had stayed strong to this point, and Will would have to continue to stay strong for Jem's sake.

"William, promise me one thing," Jem said meekly, gasping for air.

"Anything," Will managed to say, reaching out to move a strand of sweat soaked hair from his _parabatai's _forehead. It was all he could do not to break down.

"Keep Tessa safe. Whatever happens, keep her safe. Please."

"I promise, Jian." And with that, Jem let out his last breath.

**A/N** **There will be one more after this. I think it's only fair to end it on a good note, don't you? I'm sorry to anyone I have upset with this semi-ending. I must give full credit, for Will's pov, to my friend and editor/beta: The Pale Red Queen. For she wrote the whole pov and, (okay I might have tweaked a bit), I admit she did a mighty good job, don't you? Good old fashioned team work xD**

**For those of you that are upset by the happenings in this chapter, let me please remind you that this IS a PRO Will and Tessa fanfic and this needed to happen. I like Jem, but.. you know... he'll never be quite as... *dreamy* as Will. haha**

**Please review if you can. Tell all your friends. After Clockwork Princess, I might do another fanfic, but until then, wait for chapter 13 and of course, there's also my time travel fic that's... taking a little time. I must admit. I'm kinda overloaded with ideas and chapters. ahh.**

**Love you all xx**


	13. Chapter 13

**Thank you to EVERYONE from the bottom of my heart for the support over the past 6months since i started this fic. It means the world to me . All your kind reviews are what have encouraged me time and time again to continue this and i seriously could not have done it without you . It is with great sadness, therefore, that i must say farewell to this story. At least...for now. **

**I hope you enjoy this final chapter and I look forward to writing a new s****tory after (or before, depending on when the mood takes me) Clockwork Princess next year. Thank you once again. Please check out my other works if you wish to. mwah!**

**Enjoy!**

**p.s Much love to my editor The Pale Red Queen for sticking around til the end :)**

**Epilogue**

Will:

The air was warm and smelling slightly of fresh cut grass as William Herondale made his way back to the London Institute riding on Balios, one of the Institute's horses, and his personal favourite. He felt the wind blow through his hair; his lips turned up ever so slightly at the prospect of seeing Tessa. Granted, he did feel guilt. Guilt that he had to lose James – Jem – his __parabatai__, just to have her, and yes he felt a piece of him die every time he thought of Jem, but it had been months gone by and he lived on. He had his best friend in his heart and his memories and no amount of time would rid of those. Will reminded himself that being near Tessa helped him feel close to Jem – although not too close, he thought, as not to ruin the moments – and he was keeping up his end of Jem's dying wish. Look after Tessa.__

His mind travelled back to that disastrous event that took place on Tessa and Jem's wedding day. When the clockwork army invaded High Manor and destroyed much more than a happy day; they destroyed lives. The moment Jem died was the day Will's heart broke and in his mind, it would probably never truly heal again. He'd opened himself up to love after realising he wasn't actually cursed, and then this happened. He was starting to wonder whether he really had been cursed and that demon, Marbas, had tricked him. Again.

Jumping off the horse, he handed the reins to Cyril before walking into the Institute. He hung his hat off on the stand by the doors and ran up the spiral stairs to the first floor where he passed Sophie. He raised an eyebrow.

"Master Will, you're looking awfully cheerful this afternoon," she said, her lips thinning with disapproval.

He straightened his black vest and raked a hand through his hair. "Why, yes I do believe I am."

Which wasn't all that true. It was merely a front these days, to behave as though nothing was wrong, despite the almost constant reminder of all that he had lost. Just walking into the front of the Institute and seeing his __parabatai's__ walking stick cut a hole in his chest from the memories.__

His mind cast back to the funeral. All the Shadowhunters of London, and even many from overseas, had attended. Dressed formally in white, as was the tradition, they mourned the loss of Jessamine, Gabriel, and then their biggest loss – James Carstairs.

Tears had fallen from Will's cheeks, despite how everybody told you to move on fast and that Shadowhunters died aplenty for their job, he couldn't stop the tears. He couldn't stop the heartbreak, and most of all, he couldn't stop the guilt.

Not giving Sophie a chance to reply or even send a scowl his way, he marched past her and towards the drawing room where he found Tessa quietly reading a book with the hearth alight with flames, casting a warm glow through the room.

She rested the book down gently as he walked in; , her eyes widening with a beautiful happiness.

"Will," she rushed over to him and wrapped her arms around him, as he put his hands around her neck, and pressing his lips against hers. When they parted for a second she was a little breathless saying, "Oh, I missed you."

He shot a satisfied grin but then tried to hide it when a solemn nod. "As did I," He kissed her once more before moving over to the chair awaiting his return, all the while holding her hand in his.

Will lowered his gaze as he sat beside her. He reluctantly let go of her hand and clasped his together, thinking about... things. He half smiled.

"I have news. Magnus has arranged us to take a trip away," He tried to make sure his expression appeared excited, but still, the guilt beat down on him like rain drops made of steel.

Her smile broadened and he felt hope leap in his chest. "Really?" she gasped, standing quickly to look out of the window. "Oh my, this is sudden news."

"I know it is soon, but I thought that since it's been nearly six months since..." his throat closed up slightly, making him cough, before saying, "I just thought that maybe you'd like new scenery. But if you'd rather not go, I'm sure I can cancel in-"

She turned to him, eyes alight with something he couldn't decipher. Her lips curved into a smile that just took his breath away. She moved towards him, taking his hands and pulled him up out of his seat until they were chest to chest. He lifted a hand to move a lock of chocolate coloured hair from her eyes and felt his heart beat heavily against his ribs. "I'd be honoured to go away with you," she whispered against his skin as she held him close. Leaning her head against his chest he felt the rise and fall of her own as she breathed deeply. "I just wish he was here to go with us."

A weary sigh escaped him and suddenly all the joy of her answer disappeared to the heavyweight of guilt. "As do I. , " he replied quietly.

"Do you think he's happy now?" she asked him. He continued to rub her back soothingly.

"I would like to hope so," he said slowly, unsure of the words in his mouth.

"Do you think maybe he hates us right now?"

That caught him unawares and he found himself taking a hasty step back, unclasping her hold on him until they were separated, a mere feet between.

"I cannot say," he answered with regret. He took her hand in his and closed his eyes. When he reopened them, she was gazing up at him with curiosity and hope. He tried to smile but it felt more like a grimace. "I do know that he wouldn't want us to be unhappy." She appeared relieved by those words and went on her tiptoes to kiss him gently, until the kiss turned deeper and he felt himself drowning in her scent, the feel of her body crushed against his own, and the whirling of desire mingling with hurt.

**Tessa:**

Expectations were tough to keep up, but Tessa tried. She tried to be honourable; she even hoped everyday that Jem wasn't up in angel heaven, or wherever Shadowhunters go when they died, cursing down on her for betraying him.

"Sophie," she asked the maid that had become more like a friend to Tessa over the time of her being at the institute.

"Yes, m'lady?"

Tessa sighed, brushing through her hair in slow, calming strokes while Sophie made her bed, humming quietly to herself.

"Do you miss them?"

Sophie stopped what she was doing and turned to face Tessa. She turned thoughtful for a second.

"I do," she said. "But I realise now that they simply go onto a happier place."

Tessa felt surprise at that reply and put down her hairbrush on the vanity table.

"You really believe that?"

Sophie smiled. "I do, miss. Now, would you like me to put your hair up for you?"

Tessa nodded and passed her the hairbrush. "Yes, please."

Through the calming motion of the comb passing through her hair, Tessa found herself wondering what life would have been like if Jem hadn't have been killed by those wretched monsters. Would they have had a happy marriage? She shook her head, furious with herself for thinking such an outrageous thing. Of course they'd have been happy.

Then why was she with Will and not mourning over Jem? Shouldn't she be like any other widow?

Blinking herself out of a stupor, she realised Sophie had arranged her hair into a sort of braid, partly held up on the crown of her head. Curls flowed down by her ears. She smiled in appreciation.

Sophie seemed sad. "Are you happy?" she asked Tessa, catching her off guard. Tessa stood up, fiddling self-consciously with the strands loose of her braid and raised a brow in thought. After a moments silence she felt something settle inside her gut. A warm, comforting sensation that made her smile telling her, "Yes. Yes I am."

Sophie raised a curious eyebrow. "Even with Master Will?"

Tessa held out hand to rest on the other girls arm. "Sophie, I still love and miss Jem dearly, but Will makes me happy and that is what Jem would have wanted, is it not? For us all to be happy? Surely he would not wish for us to mope over him."

Sophie nodded with sombre agreement before brushing something off Tessa's day dress. "Indeed, miss. Now, you should join Will before he runs away and finds another lady." She giggled.

"He can only dream, " replied Tessa, winking slyly at Sophie before heading out the door.


End file.
